Bud Abbott

Sitting at home the way I do, I'd just love the hear from people. It'd be a great help in passing the time.

You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?

It gets so boring at home. After all, how many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on television?

Well, I always had a chauffer, because I have never driven a car in my life. I still can't drive.

Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third.

Gentlemen you cant fight in here This is the War Room

They disallowed this and disallowed that, and now I can't even get my head above water!

That's why so many stars are making pictures in Europe today. The tax guys are making thieves out of everybody.

Once they get their hooks into you, you're a dead pigeon.

They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven't seen any of them around lately.