Denis Leary

The thing with movies is, because you have so little time, I always feel like there are more things we could've done with the character. If we'd done a sequel to 'The Thomas Crown Affair,' what would that have been like? But for the most part, you try not to think of that, because it's just going to break your heart.

I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That's not why they invented daycare.

My career plan at this point is 'Ice Age 5' through '10,' and even '12,' and 'Spider Man' - you know, basically I'd be Emma Stone's dad for the rest of my career. I really don't have any problem doing that.

Everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and I've got a million in mine, believe me. I tested the envelope; I pushed it. Whenever somebody in authority told me not to do something, I did it just to find out why they said not to do it.

I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with either one.

Hockey's my favorite sport.

I always hated the Grateful Dead. Never even bought a Led Zeppelin album.

Wolfhounds helped kill off the wolves in Ireland.

I'm born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while.

In addition to my cousin, there were 30 or 40 guys I grew up with who became firefighters as well. So, I've been around firefighters all my life.

If you're over 52 years old and you're on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now.

There's no way around it - drama is very difficult to shoot. It's very heavy and something that you carry with you for the course of the day.

Usually when you watch a film, you're just sort of biting your nails about things you could have done differently.

My nieces and my nephews think the only thing that I do is 'Ice Age.' That's fine with me because pretty soon they'll grow up enough to realize that I suck or that my time has passed, whichever it might be.

Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house.

The best thing about series TV is that everyone you work with is hand-picked, as compared to working on a film.

Bill Murray doesn't do anything. He barely shows up at the movies he says he's going to do.

I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side?

Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us.

I actually like talking.

The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.

I did 12 years with nuns, you know. So I came out of it going, like, 'I think Jesus is all right.' The rest of it I think stinks to the high heavens.

Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads.

I basically - I don't like tattoos, unless you're a firefighter who has a tattoo that has to do with that or a military guy. That's - those are people who should have tattoos.

If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.

With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head.

Doing the same character over and over, it gets boring.

I don't really have a lot of fun playing just straight good guys. It's not my thing. It's like Tom Hanks territory.

I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.

I don't want a president like me! I suck, okay. I want an elitist, smart guy.

There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance.

Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself.

Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.

One of those things that I like about TV is that if you get a group of people you like, you can work with these people for months at a time, and you can discover their strengths and weaknesses, and you can use those in the direction where you take the characters.

I obviously identify with the anti-authority figure. I've pretty much always had problems with authority, ever since I was a kid.

I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better.

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

Most movies suck, even the independent ones. Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of 10 and you're a Hall of Famer.

I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh. It's almost too funny to get an award.

I'd love to play in a Red Sox game. It would be so awesome to actually walk out on the field and play, just for one inning. I'd also steal everything I could get my hands on in the clubhouse, which is why they won't let me do it.

The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them.

My charity is in the business of helping firefighters in any way that we can. For instance, after 9/11 we were the second-fastest charity to raise and distribute money to the widows and surviving family members of the 343 firefighters who died that day.

My only worry about tweeting and modern technology is how it has crept into even the darkest corners of the absolute global village we live in.

I like Jesus, I mean, I think he was a good guy.

I wasn't the best student. I wasn't stupid, but I wasn't paying a lot of attention.

Firefighters dont go on strike.

My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave.

I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.

If you want a long-term relationship that doesn't require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there's no secret; you really have to appreciate the person every single day.

Good actors, especially when they know their character, will come in and either tell you in advance that they have an idea, or in the middle of the rehearsal or the scene they'll let it loose and you go, 'Ah that's great.'

We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!

You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is.

Once you have a firefighter in your family, your family and the families from his crew become one big extended family.

Once you have a firefighter in your family your family and the families from his crew become one big extended family.

George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live.

I don't watch 'American Idol.' I don't watch any of that stuff.

You can have good writing, but a great actor will make it feel and sound like great writing. You can have great writing, and mediocre actors will make it feel mediocre. Without the actors, you have nothing.

Firefighters don't go on strike.

I love French stuff. Mmmm, french fries.

Let me tell you something: I love the Yankees. And let me tell you why: because without the Yankees, there is nobody to hate.

I wanted to be a hockey player. Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used. I was terrible in school and actually said, 'I'm going to be a hockey player.'

If you had no enemies, you had no fun.

It would be great if firefighters across the country had the guarantee that they would be making enough money to support their family right from the get-go, but that's not the case.

My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.

No woman can be completely happy at any one moment in time. They're always anticipating the next thing to argue or complain about.

In my experience in series TV, if you have a good crew and a great cast, it's going to be a great group - similar to the theater where it's a bunch of people who are really talented and go to work each day and challenge each other, and if you are lucky enough to get a hit then it's five or six or seven years of this kind of work.

Sometimes 'great acting' is just showing off - chewing up scenery and dialogue and other actors - the equivalent of a theatrical sugar rush.

People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes!

I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nuture.

The Social Wishlist on Facebook is a great example of everything right about social media.

Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it. So I don't think I could successfully pull off being on a project like that without really losing my mind.

I think it's a shame when you come across young actors and musicians who haven't had the time to learn their craft. It doesn't matter if it's acting or music; you really have to learn how to do it from the bottom up because unless you have a great work ethic... fame is a terrible thing to have.

I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I'm ok with that because I've been able to do a lot. I started in the theater, then I went to stand-up comedy, and then when I went into the movies to do comedy and drama and big movies and small movies.

Temptation's something you have to deal with even if you're not famous. It's harder when you're famous because it's a lot more in your face, and that makes it a little more difficult to walk away from sometimes.

Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter.

My father left Ireland because he did not want to muck horse manure for the rest of his life, and he wanted to come to New York.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I'm praying for 'Ice Age' 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. Because I really think we can run those characters into the '60s, and I'm talking the 1960s, you know? The Civil Rights Movement. That's what I'm praying for, because then I wouldn't have to do anything else.

I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.

Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it.

If you do good work, it tends to stick around. People still come up to me and say, 'The Ref' is my favorite Christmas movie.'

I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture.

I'm not saying being a comedian is brain surgery, but it is definitely - it's like being a carpenter. You learn how to make tables and chairs. You have to have the right tools, and you have to know how to put the thing together, right?

The first movie I saw where it convinced me I could be an actor was 'Mean Streets,' so whenever I see Robert De Niro and he says, 'Hi, Denis,' it's still a really big deal.

You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.

I studied acting in school and then, of course, couldn't get an acting job.

When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me.

What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is.

Anybody who's done standup will tell you that there's nothing like it. The show starts at 8:00, the curtain goes up and there's nobody else except you and the audience, and you just perform for them for two hours. Nobody yells, 'Cut!' There are no retakes. That is still the most exciting medium for me, and I love it.

What firefighters and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do; basically these people say, 'I'm going to protect all these strangers.'

What firefighters and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do basically these people say Im going to protect all these strangers.

My dad was very much a John Wayne kind of guy, but he was also a great guy, great sense of humor, a real dedicated dad. I don't think he ever missed a hockey game I was in.

If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in.

There's no male Oprah.

I'm really good at laundry, and I have no problem cleaning the kitchen.

No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever.

I don't believe in the power of words.

Life Sucks,get a helmet.