The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?

The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?

You look just like you!

I love being an older comic now. It's like being an old soccer or an old baseball player. You're in the Hall of Fame and it's nice, but you're no longer that person in the limelight on the spot doing that thing.

We've discovered that the less we do, the more money we make.

I think the special thing about Python is that it's a writers' commune. The writers are in charge. The writers decide what the material is.

To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That's what I grew up with - doing television, doing shows every week.

No day of my life passes without someone saying the words 'Monty Python' to me. It's not bad.

A website can be very time-intensive, but I'd love to have one where people can contribute to it - like invent islands and make their own flags, and their own laws. I think that'd be kind of fun.

Americans like to think 'Python' is how English people really are. There is an element of truth to that.

At least in America, you have freedom of speech, which is a good thing. It's just a question of whether you're allowed to use it on 'Fox News'.

I do pool exercises, like weightlifting but underwater. I walk, I swim... I'm pretty fit for an old bloke.

I have been very blessed in my life and rewarded with good friends and good health. I am grateful and happy to be able to share this.

I like being a foreigner. For me, to live in California is very pleasant - I'm more comfortable not feeling a part of everything, not feeling responsible for the government or the roads or the health system.

I listen to the audience and try and bounce with them. All audiences are different. But they are all homo sapiens.

I love my family, my wife, my kids, my dogs, my home, my life. I am a very happy and contented man.

I never think in terms of target audience. I try to write what makes me laugh, so I'm the target audience. I guess I just hope there's another person in America like me.

It just seems to me that there's no particular reason comedy albums should be dead. There's a lot to laugh at. We have very funny people, still.

It's such fun to take a lot of people and create something silly.

John Cleese once told me he'd do anything for money. So I offered him a pound to shut up, and he took it.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

My education was paid for by the RAF Benevolent Fund, so a charity school, run like an orphanage, with uniforms and beatings. It was tough, but it got me to Cambridge - like being a chrysalis suddenly becoming a butterfly.

Nobody gets irony anymore, as we are now living in the post-ironic age. Once George Bush gets a library, our irony is dead.

Probably spending 12 years at boarding school - comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty.

Talent is always more interesting - ambition is not interesting. If you have talent, you have to find ways of expressing it, but you may not be a success in the world's terms.

The dreadful thing about getting older is you cry at the drop of a hat.

You initially become funny as a kid because you're looking for attention and love. Psychologists think that's all to do with mother abandonment. I think John Cleese has his depressions, and Terry Gilliam's the same. All of us together make one completely insane person.

Life doesnt make any sense and we all pretend it does. Comedys job is to point out that it doesnt make sense and that it doesnt make much difference anyway.

A lot has been said about politicians some of it complimentary but most of it accurate.

Life has a very simple plot first youre here and then youre not.

I like drums, really, if they're under control.

The trite saying that honesty is the best policy has met with the just criticism that honesty is not policy. The real honest man is honest from conviction of what is right, not from policy.

Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself.

We're thinking of creating a board of experts across the sectors of industry, to identify successful programs and to make recommendations about programs that are working and aren't working.

My mother wanted us to understand that the tragedies of your life one day have the potential to be comic stories the next.

Love is itself an expression of strength.

The heart of standing is you cannot fly.

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Plot, rules, nor even poetry, are not half so great beauties in tragedy or comedy as a just imitation of nature, of character, of the passions and their operations in diversified situations.

I'm not annoying in relationships! I'm great!

The police came to me to say I had death threats and that I had to be careful!

I'm a child of the literary bent. I don't want to see 140 characters. I want to see a story.

Sometimes you never fully understand why you are attracted to a project until you get deeper into it.

It's never easy to write a song. It's the most difficult thing I do.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

Mental illness doesn't choose the most talented or the smartest or the richest or the poorest. It shows no mercy and often arrives like an unexpected storm, dropping an endless downpour on young dreams.