You look just like you!

The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?

You look just like you!

I love being an older comic now. It's like being an old soccer or an old baseball player. You're in the Hall of Fame and it's nice, but you're no longer that person in the limelight on the spot doing that thing.

We've discovered that the less we do, the more money we make.

I think the special thing about Python is that it's a writers' commune. The writers are in charge. The writers decide what the material is.

To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That's what I grew up with - doing television, doing shows every week.

No day of my life passes without someone saying the words 'Monty Python' to me. It's not bad.

A website can be very time-intensive, but I'd love to have one where people can contribute to it - like invent islands and make their own flags, and their own laws. I think that'd be kind of fun.

Americans like to think 'Python' is how English people really are. There is an element of truth to that.

At least in America, you have freedom of speech, which is a good thing. It's just a question of whether you're allowed to use it on 'Fox News'.

I do pool exercises, like weightlifting but underwater. I walk, I swim... I'm pretty fit for an old bloke.

I have been very blessed in my life and rewarded with good friends and good health. I am grateful and happy to be able to share this.

I like being a foreigner. For me, to live in California is very pleasant - I'm more comfortable not feeling a part of everything, not feeling responsible for the government or the roads or the health system.

I listen to the audience and try and bounce with them. All audiences are different. But they are all homo sapiens.

I love my family, my wife, my kids, my dogs, my home, my life. I am a very happy and contented man.

I never think in terms of target audience. I try to write what makes me laugh, so I'm the target audience. I guess I just hope there's another person in America like me.

It just seems to me that there's no particular reason comedy albums should be dead. There's a lot to laugh at. We have very funny people, still.

It's such fun to take a lot of people and create something silly.

John Cleese once told me he'd do anything for money. So I offered him a pound to shut up, and he took it.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

My education was paid for by the RAF Benevolent Fund, so a charity school, run like an orphanage, with uniforms and beatings. It was tough, but it got me to Cambridge - like being a chrysalis suddenly becoming a butterfly.

Nobody gets irony anymore, as we are now living in the post-ironic age. Once George Bush gets a library, our irony is dead.

Probably spending 12 years at boarding school - comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty.

Talent is always more interesting - ambition is not interesting. If you have talent, you have to find ways of expressing it, but you may not be a success in the world's terms.

The dreadful thing about getting older is you cry at the drop of a hat.

You initially become funny as a kid because you're looking for attention and love. Psychologists think that's all to do with mother abandonment. I think John Cleese has his depressions, and Terry Gilliam's the same. All of us together make one completely insane person.

Life doesnt make any sense and we all pretend it does. Comedys job is to point out that it doesnt make sense and that it doesnt make much difference anyway.

A lot has been said about politicians some of it complimentary but most of it accurate.

Life has a very simple plot first youre here and then youre not.

The great benefactors of individuals and of communities are the enlightened educators: the wise-teaching, mental and moral instructors and exemplars of our times.

My dad was a low budget film director. I grew up as a kid making movies, based on the love of seeing what my dad was doing.

I'm just more into playing golf. It's a great thing.

If you're a man and you are confident and you are ambitious and strong, then you are a statesman and a leader. If you are a woman and you have those qualities, well, they have a not-so-flattering term for that.

Homosexuality is immutable irreversible and nonpathological.

Voting has proliferated in the United States, and it has reached a point where there is now almost one vote available per citizen over the age of eighteen.

I have a grim outlook on the world, and in particular on humanity. Spent years denying it, but I am very misanthropic. And I live alone on a mountain for a reason.

I was a Marvel kid, and I would have to say that Spiderman is my all-time favorite character. As I got older, my tastes developed a little bit more, and I would follow certain writers; like, I really got into Grant Morrison. From the time I was 5, I was into comic books. From the time I learned how to read, it was all about comic books.

I can shoot pool, and I can play ping-pong. I'm pretty good at those games.

Hey you, keep living. It won't always be this overwhelming.

If things haven't been moving favorably on your side, then, tomorrow is another day to try again with a different approach.

Most of us actually stifle enough good impulses during the course of a day to change the current of our lives.

A faithful and loving wife is the jewel of a marriage.

My consciousness is without limits more than when I was 40 or 50.

Time discovers truth.

To be a clergyman, and all that is compassionate and virtuous, ought to be the same thing.