The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it.

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual.

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show it's contempt for another court.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.

There are no friends at cards or world politics.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

I wonder why you can always read a doctors bill and you can never read his prescription.

Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

I wondher why ye can always read a doctors bill an ye niver can read his purscription.

The only good husbands stay bachelors Theyre too considerate to get married.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.

The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here.

I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don't spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.

Our children are not going to be just "our children" - they are going to be other people's husbands and wives and the parents of our grandchildren.

All my six husbands married me for different reasons.

Families are great murderers of the creative impulse, particularly husbands.

You know, the fashion business is this legendary repository of young girls on their way to getting husbands. I really wanted to work.

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

Being a husband is a whole-time job. That is why so many husbands fail. They cannot give their entire attention to it.

I'm always amazed when young women who are having babies want their husbands to watch the babies come out. I would never allow anything like that.

The divine right of husbands, like the divine right of kings, may, it is hoped, in this enlightened age, be contested without danger.

My observation is that women are merely waiting for their husbands to assume leadership.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.

The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives.

Women's courage is rather different from men's. The fact that women have to bring up children and look after husbands makes them braver at facing long-term issues, such as illness. Men are more immediately courageous. Lots of people are brave in battle.

I don't have any gnawing guilt over contributing to any unhappiness suffered by my husbands. They were as much to blame as I was.

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could.

Make women rational creatures, and free citizens, and they will quickly become good wives; - that is, if men do not neglect the duties of husbands and fathers.

With two leftover husbands to account for, my wicked soul has just about shriveled and died.

Women desire six things: They want their husbands to be brave, wise, rich, generous, obedient to wife, and lively in bed.

Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

Many men hoard for the future husbands of their wives.

The road to success is filled with women pushing their husbands along.

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?