When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb. After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to find out how much he'd learned in three years.

I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas.

A golf course is nothing but a pool room moved outdoors.

The joy of giving is indeed a pleasure, especially when you get rid of something you don't want.

When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb. After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to find out how much he'd learned in three years.

Bishops are like umpires. You have to have them to call the close decisions.

If a man is dumb, someone is going to get the best of him, so why not you? If you don't, you're as dumb as he is.

Too clever is dumb.

Innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm.

I hate it when people talk about Buffy as being campy... I hate camp, I don't enjoy dumb TV. I believe Aaron Spelling has single-handedly lowered SAT scores.

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

Generally speaking, actors are allowed NO input. Actors are dumb.

They are damn good projects - excellent projects. That goes for all the projects up there. You know some people make fun of people who speak a foreign language, and dumb people criticize something they do not understand, and that is what is going on up there - God damn it!

I mean, Eighteen years old is the age of consent in Europe and you can go anywhere and do anything you like. In America, it is dumb. At eighteen you should be able to do anything that you like, except get married.

I have been primarily interested in how and why ordinary people do unusual things, things that seem alien to their natures. Why do good people sometimes act evil? Why do smart people sometimes do dumb or irrational things?

Maybe these kids are just too young and too dumb to know about the first 13. Maybe they can't comprehend that the Braves have only won one World Series in those 13 years.

I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I smell. Did I mention I'm stupid?

You have to get the audience invested even if you're doing something that they think is dumb, it's kind of what these movies are all about.

Elvis is not so difficult as Johnny Cash because his voice is so distinctive. If you try to copy Johnny Cash, it's just going to sound dumb.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

None of us are really dumb and none of us are really smart. We're in the middle.

Would it not be much better to have a president who deliberately lied to the people because he thought a war was essential than to have one who was so dumb as to be taken in by intelligence agencies, especially those who told him what he wanted to hear?

Striving to tell his woes, words would not come; For light cares speak, when mighty griefs are dumb.

I'd played dumbasses a lot. On Mad About You, I played a very dumb waitress and they saw me.

Well, he can't be dumb, I mean, because he's been president for four years and he's president again, so you're going to get caught out if you're really bad, aren't you? Unless millions and millions of Americans are dumb.

God hears no more than the heart speaks; and if the heart be dumb, God will certainly be deaf.

Blonde is dumb comedy, red hair is smart, sexy comedy.

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.

The biggest threat to McDonald's lies within - and that is us as a company becoming complacent. There are a lot of companies that get fat, dumb and happy and take their eye off the ball and forget about serving customers.

Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music. Which of you would be a reed, dumb and silent, when all else sings together in unison?

Watch me when people say deaf and dumb, or deaf mute, and I give them a look like you might get if you called Denzel Washington the wrong name.

She said 'I'm by commission. You don't have to pay anything until you sell anything.' I said, 'Well fine. You want to be my agent and not make anything.' I thought, 'Boy, is she dumb.'

I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy.

Only very intelligent people don't wish they were in politics, and I'm dumb enough to want to be in there.

Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.

I went to an all-girls pre school where everyone went off to Harvard or Yale, and I had zero interest in doing so. I think they thought I was on drugs. There was a neighboring all-boys school, so we'd get together and do dumb things. It was your typical Catholic-American upbringing.

I don't believe in elitism. I don't think the audience is this dumb person lower than me. I am the audience.

Nothing is the destiny of everyone, it is our commonness made dumb.

Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill.

I'm really, really dumb about describing wine, but I like wine that's full-bodied and dry.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.

Everybody says how hard comedy is, but, when it comes time to honor things, whether it's on a weekly critical basis or whether it's award time, at that time of the year, comedy is the poor, dumb child of dramatic work.

Innocence always calls mutely for protection when we would be so much wiser to guard ourselves against it: innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm.

Ditzy dumb blonde? I can be ditzy. I can be.

Kurt had this dumb suicidal ideation - that's what I called it. I thought if we could live through this, we could live through anything.

I was so wild and crazy and dumb in my car. It didn't run but 30 miles an hour. You made do.