Gracie Allen

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

The on-stage Gracie may look poised, but the real Gracie is shy, a little self-conscious, and, before every performance of my life, panicky.

Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

I really don't act. I just live what George and I are doing. It has to make some sort of sense to me, or it won't ring true. No matter what the script says, there's no audience and no footlights and no camera for me. There's no make-believe. It's for real.