Helen Rowland

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

A man never knows how to say goodbye a woman never knows when to say it.

A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.

For one man's chin is as rough as another's, and one man's lies are as smooth as another's.

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

The chief excitement in a womans life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

A bachelor gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.

The feminine vanity case is the grave of masculine illusions.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

Many men kill themselves for love, but many more women die of it.

And verily a woman need know but one man well in order to understand all men whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard that he spends too much money that he is misunderstood or that he is different none of this is necessarily complimentary but it will flatter him infinitely more that merely telling him that he is brilliant or noble or wise or good.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.

When you see a married couple walking down the street the one thats a few steps ahead is the one thats mad.

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are "made in America."

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

A man is like a cat chase him and he will run sit still and ignore him and hell come purring at your feet.

Life begins at 40 but so do fallen arches rheumatism faulty eyesight and the tendency to tell a story to the same person three or four times.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.

A good woman inspires a man; a brilliant woman interests him; a beautiful woman fascinates him; and a sympathetic woman gets him

A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

What a man calls his "conscience" is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

Love the quest marriage the conquest divorce the inquest.

The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.

What a man calls his conscience is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

A fool and her money are soon courted.

A bachelor has to have inspiration for making love to a woman a married man needs only an excuse.

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature -- and another woman to help him forget them.

The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our yawns.

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

A husband is what is left of a lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

You will never win if you never begin.

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

Before marriage a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you after marriage he wont even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.

It's easier to hide your light under a bushel than to keep your shady side dark.

A good woman inspires a man a brilliant woman interests him a beautiful woman fascinates him but a sympathetic woman gets him.

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.

Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.

What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

Variety is the spice of love.

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?

A mans desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

One man's folly is another man's wife.

When two people decide to get a divorce it isnt a sign that they dont understand one another but a sign that they have at last begun to.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little "personal characteristics."

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.