If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.

I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about.

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future.

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.

Predictions are preposterous.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

I love puns. I've been known to turn the car around just to take advantage of a good pun situation. It really is the highest form of humor.

Traveling in India gives you a chance to observe a renaissance.

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

Life is too large to hang out a sign: "For Men Only."

Just thinking of all the things I'd done getting there and everything I've sacrificed to do so. But what's happening now makes it worth it.

In terms of animation, animators are actors as well. They are fantastic actors. They have to draw from how they feel emotionally about the beat of a scene that they're working on. They work collaboratively.

I was a child, and my mother was psychotic. She loved me, but I didn't really feel I had a mother. And when you live with somebody who is paranoid and thinks you're trying to kill them all the time, you tend to feel a little betrayed.

I don't believe that we evolved moral psychology; it just doesn't seem plausible to me as a biological phenomenon.

We're constantly re-evaluating the potential for life. We're finding it where we didn't think it could exist, such as volcanic vents and other extreme conditions like under arctic ice. We're finding life in these incredibly harsh and dynamic conditions, so we're having to re-evaluate our own ideas of what's possible on this planet alone.

Who would have thought that in the 1950s, Burbank was a hotbed of international espionage?

God is in all - I believe in God, yes. And I believe God is in us.

Through Duke Energy's strong balance sheet and electric generation expertise, and Piedmont's understanding of natural gas markets and proficient operations, the combined company will be well-positioned for a future that may require additional natural gas infrastructure and services to meet the needs of our customers.

Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel first championed my film, 'Hoop Dreams,' which was essential to its success. Roger remained a great supporter of my work throughout my career, and I'll never forget him tweeting about 'The Interrupters' right before its premiere at the Sundance Film Festival in 2011.

If the economy is still going forward, even at 40 miles an hour, 50 miles an hour, I think most people will stick with President Obama. I think people look at politics like they hire a plumber. I hire you to fix the bad pipe. If you fix it, I'll rehire you. If you don't fix it, I'm not going to rehire you.

Buy what thou hast no need of and ere long thou shalt sell thy necessities.

Being pregnant was the healthiest I've ever been in my life. Except for the cupcakes.

An example of a trend that I tried that didn't exactly work out would be high-waisted jeans. We see them everywhere, but what I realized is that they don't work for every body type.

I've never been one to stay still. I was born a nomad, and I still am a nomad and always will be.

Everything I record, I just try to sound like me and come up with songs that suit what I do, and then just go for it.

I don't click pictures. People carry a camera with them while travelling, take pictures, keep them as memories, but I don't. I don't even have a camera.

I'm still doing something I love to do.

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

I think people could be a bit friendlier. The only real contact you have with people is when they're annoyed if you've had a party - you know, it's been a bit too noisy for them or something.

I wasn't bullied in high school, I was just ignored.