Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

There are so many opportunities in life, that the loss of two or three capabilities is not necessarily debilitating. A handicap can give you the opportunity to focus more on art, writing, or music.

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.

Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them.

Good morning is a contradiction of terms.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

Cats are anthropomorphised in art because they are so laid back that you automatically attribute human thoughts and feelings to them.

Cats rule the world.

I can go everywhere and no one recognises me.

I didn't have a whole lot of success getting dates, I was always a bit of a geek.

I probably get more inspiration for human stories and idiosyncrasies than I do animal stories.

I stop short of being a workaholic.

I thought if I could create a convincing cat I could say and do anything I wanted on the human condition.

I was in and out of comas until I was nine and I would lose entire days and weeks. The novelty of being able to really do stuff hasn't worn off - I still feel like I'm making up for lost time.

I was very happy and honored to create the Professor Garfield Foundation with Ball State to make reading fun.

I'm still a farm boy at heart. If I hadn't suffered from asthma as a child, I would be a farmer today.

My dream in life is to write the one gag that makes everyone in the world laugh.

Readers have told me that their children have learned to read after years of struggle after starting to read Garfield's comic strip and many people who have moved to the United States have said that they, too, learned English by reading Garfield.

The understatement is the English contribution to comedy.

Usually I commit to something in my head and then I start drawing.

When you're through with your cat, you can't throw it in the trash.

You have to do something when you're lying in bed. So you play with your mind.

You'd have to go a long way to find someone who was more proud and grateful for what our veterans have done for all of us.

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.

He who fills His pockets with the Rocks of Misdeeds shall surely sink in the River of Good Fortune.

I joined another circle and the leader gave us a little leaflet in very small print, asking us to read it carefully and then come prepared to ask questions. It was a technical Marxist subject and I did not understand it nor did I know what questions to ask.

I share their frustration at times and I get down just like them when we suffer a bad result.

Sometimes I've sat outside, not to tan, but as a result of that I ended up tanning slightly.

Great genius takes shape by contact with another great genius, but, less by assimilation than by fiction.

There's guilt about our treatment of native peoples in modern intellectual life, and an unwillingness to acknowledge there could be anything good about Western culture.

Triple tonguing? It was sort of invented. It wasn't in the script. It was something that I came up with.

It's okay to be a fat man. It's prestige and power and all of that. But fat women are seen as just lazy and stupid and having no self-control.

Good acting should teach people to understand rather than judge.

Individual stories from the Bible had been made into movies, but no one had taken on the arc of the Bible story as one meta-narrative from Genesis to Revelation.

People travel because it's a treat. For me, staying at home is a treat.

For me, in some ways, my whole life is a bit performative and always has been - because I'm stared at and looked at everywhere I go.

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things.

The way to be happy is to like yourself, and the way to like yourself is to do only things that make you proud.

An easy-going husband is the one indispensable comfort of life.

I don't believe in amnesty... What I have proposed is that we would come forth with a program that allows individuals to come forward and to plead guilty... They would have to pay a fine; they would have to go through a background check - some say learn English - and they would get learned legal status.

The life you have led doesn’t need to be the only life you have.

One of the reasons why when Elvis dies or the Son of Sam is captured ABC News' ratings go up is because people who don't normally watch news are watching then. The question is, do you want to attract people who don't watch network news or fight over the people who do?

As a fiction writer, my favorite tools are my imagination and the peculiar opportunities offered by different points of view.

There are three species of government: republican, monarchical, and despotic.

All a woman needs is a good bath, clean clothes, and for her hair to be combed. These things she can do herself. I very seldom go to the hairdresser, but when I do, I just marvel.

I want to expand the compassionate conservative agenda. I believe life begins in the womb, and we should protect it. But it extends to a child in Darfur or someone living in poverty.

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. You step out of the car and it's bedlam. Everyone's got crazy eyes.

The internet is by the people, for the people.

A lot of people say the sitcom is dead. I think they're right to some extent, in that the shows they're putting out are all the same.