Kingsley Amis

He resolved, having done it once, never to move his eyeballs again.

One of the great benefits of organised religion is that you can be forgiven your sins, which must be a wonderful thing. I mean, I carry my sins around with me, there's nobody there to forgive them.

More always means worse.

Outside every fat man there is an even fatter man trying to close in.

It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start life as children.

It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start their life as children.

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.

If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.

Laziness has become the chief characteristic of journalism, displacing incompetence.

I sometimes feel that more lousy dishes are presented under the banner of pate than any other.

His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum.

A German wine label is one of the things life's too short for.

Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go.

Self criticism must be my guide to action, and the first rule for its employment is that in itself it is not a virtue, only a procedure.

It was no wonder that people were so horrible when they started life as children.

There was no end to the ways in which nice things are nicer than nasty ones.

Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way.

No wonder people are so horrible when they start life as children.

Outside every fat man there was an even fatter man trying to close in.

A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn't allow it to spoil your lunch.