I tend to like very bitchy women. I find myself most attracted to smart, sarcastic, bitchy women.

I can't discriminate? Oh, that's ripe, coming from a straight white man. What's the matter, baby doesn't feel like he belongs? Well why don't you try a place that was set up just for you? Like the world!

A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's a girl thing.

No one has the responsibility to be out to anyone but himself or herself. I made my choice a million years ago.

As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.

I tend to like very bitchy women. I find myself most attracted to smart, sarcastic, bitchy women.

What do you mean you don't believe in homosexuality? It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary.

Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works.

It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me.

Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic.

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.

My father was a very unhappy person, very sarcastic, and my mother was very nervous and worried about what people thought. They weren't monsters, but it wasn't a good childhood.

I got into therapy in the fifth grade because I said in a sarcastic way that I was going to kill myself, and they didn't get it then. Nothing's changed.

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy.

I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's in real womanlike situations, where it's romanticized, I'm a little nervous about it.

I tend to like very bitchy women. I find myself most attracted to smart, sarcastic, bitchy women.

My mom was sarcastic about men. She would tell me Adam was the rough draft and Eve was the final product. She was a feminist minister, an earth mom who wore a bra only on Sundays.

He has such a patronizing tone and manner, and such a sarcastic sense of humor. I found him rather brutal, a kind of elegant brutality which appealed. No, I think he came pretty much off the page.

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing.

I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's in real womanlike situations, where it's romanticized, I'm a little nervous about it.

I am pretty sarcastic and pretty dry.

I am sarcastic and dry, but I also have a pretty huge zest for life.

I can be sarcastic.

I can be very dry and sarcastic.

I have some sarcastic sides of me.

I'm kind of sarcastic. Not cynical but sarcastic.

I'm totally an East Coast person, energetic and sarcastic. I'm not a nice L.A. person.

In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.

My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

The last thing I want my robot to be is sarcastic. I want them to be pragmatic and reliable - just like my dishwasher.

If it weren't for women, men would still be wearing last week's socks.

I'm getting a wider circle of fans now. More women, more middle class people.

They didn't even like Margaret Thatcher but at least there was Margaret Thatcher. There have been women, you know, Sonia Gandhi for heaven's sakes in India.

Athletes as role models and heroes is a hoax, a sick hoax. The men and women who are fighting in Iraq, they are the true heroes.

On the road to equality there is no better place for blacks to detour around American values than in forgoing its example in the treatment of its women and the organization of its family.

For a man to strike any women is most brutal, and I, as well as everyone else, think this far worse than any attempt to shoot, which, wicked as it is, is at least more comprehensible and more courageous.

Women don't like advice. They don't want you to fix their problems, they just want you to listen.

Oh yeah, I'm a huge romance fan. And some women like action.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

Clearly no one knows what leadership has gone undiscovered in women of all races, and in black and other minority men.

I figured out it was a social thing, what women were allowed to do. At a very young age, I decided I was not going to follow women's rules.

The greatest public health threat for many American women is the men they live with.

The world over, give a guy money and it goes to drinking, gambling, and women. When you give a woman money, it goes to feeding, clothing, helping people.

I'm looking forward to providing the men of Seattle with an evening where they can kick back, light up a cigar and enjoy a night to themselves. Women, we can't technically keep you out, but please stay at home.

Feminism is hated because women are hated. Anti-feminism is a direct expression of misogyny; it is the political defense of women hating.

Films have never shown the kind of relationship that can exist between two women.

They know they're going to look beautiful, and I don't think women should look like costumes. They shouldn't look like fashion victims.