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Lily Tomlin

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Quotes
49

I always wanted to be somebody but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Lily Tomlin
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket “ The road to success is always under construction.
Lily Tomlin
There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
Lily Tomlin
We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.
Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily Tomlin
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
Lily Tomlin
I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be funny - because it's powerful; it's a threat.
Lily Tomlin
Reality is a crutch for people who cant cope with drugs.
Lily Tomlin
What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
Lily Tomlin
Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
Lily Tomlin
If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.
Lily Tomlin
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin
I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
Lily Tomlin
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
Lily Tomlin
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
Lily Tomlin
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty how come no one has their hair done in a library
Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
Lily Tomlin
It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin
You don't really need to get married, but marriage is awfully nice. Everybody I know who got married, they say it really makes a difference. They feel very, very happy about it.
Lily Tomlin
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin
The road to success is always under construction.
Lily Tomlin
I always knew I wanted to become somebody when I grew up. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
Lily Tomlin
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
Remember we're all in this alone.
Lily Tomlin
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
Lily Tomlin
For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty how come no one has their hair done in the library.
Lily Tomlin
No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
Lily Tomlin
For fast acting relief, try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.
Lily Tomlin
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
Lily Tomlin
We're all in this alone.
Lily Tomlin
What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin
The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Lily Tomlin
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
Lily Tomlin
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest “ then we can all die laughing.
Lily Tomlin
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Lily Tomlin

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