This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks.

Where there are too many policemen, there is no liberty. Where there are too many soldiers, there is no peace. Where there are too many lawyers, there is no justice.

If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live.

Society can exist only on the basis that there is some amount of polished lying and that no one says exactly what he thinks.

Today we are afraid of simple words like goodness and mercy and kindness. We don't believe in the good old words because we don't believe in good old values anymore. And that's why the world is sick.

Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.

The wise man reads both books and life itself.

A good traveller is one who does not know where he is going to, and a perfect traveller does not know where he came from.

Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.

Peace of mind is that mental condition in which you have accepted the worst.

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his own, familiar pillow.

The more we justify our beliefs the more narrow minded we become.

By association with natures enormities a mans heart may truly grow big also.

The busy man is never wise and the wise man is never busy.

China is the greatest mystifying and stupefying fact in the modern world.

A cocktail party is a place where you talk with a person you do not know about a subject you have no interest in.

The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond your reach.

It is not dirt but the fear of dirt which is the sign of mans degeneration and it is dangerous to judge a mans physical and moral sanity by outside standards.

Of all the rights of women the greatest is to be a mother.

Hope is like a road in the country there was never a road but when many people walk on it the road comes into existence.

Since the invention of the flush toilet and the vacuum carpet cleaner the modern man seems to judge a mans moral standards by his cleanliness and thinks a dog the more highly civilized for having a weekly bath and a winter wrapper round his belly.

A vague uncritical idealism always lends itself to ridicule and too much of it might be a danger to mankind, leading it round in a futile wild-goose chase for imaginary ideals.

It is that unoccupied space which makes a room habitable, as it is our leisure hours which make life endurable.

Instead of holding on to the Biblical view that we are made in the image of God, we come to realize that we are made in the image of the monkey.

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.

Any good practical philosophy must start out with the recognition of our having a body.

There is something in the nature of tea that leads us into a world of quiet contemplation of life.

We used to think that revolutions are the cause of change. Actually it is the other way around: change prepares the ground for revolution.

I must stress here the point that I appreciate clarity, order, meaning, structure, rationality: they are necessary to whatever provisional stability we have, and they can be the agents of gradual and successful change.

Excuses change nothing, but make everyone feel better.

So, first you have to be able to play with a metronome. Then you take your freedom. If you play in an orchestra, you got to watch the conductor, he is like a metronome, but it is more difficult because he can change rhythms.

I wouldn't change Buffy for anything and I wouldn't change the course in which she has evolved but it is nice to be able to do something that is a little different.

For example, UNICEF works with governments to change legislation such as in India where a law was passed raising the age of compulsory school completion to keep children in school and away from the workplace for longer.

Great joy, especially after a sudden change of circumstances, is apt to be silent, and dwells rather in the heart than on the tongue.

I still feel that a movie has to attempt to say something - even if it fails miserably. But I've sort of given up on believing that I'm going to change the world with every film I choose to act in.

Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.

I knew that my staying up would not change the election result if I were defeated, while if elected I had a hard day ahead of me. So I thought a night's rest was best in any event.

It will always be a battle a day between those who want maximum change and those who want to maintain the status quo.

Being a father, well, I don't know if this is a change, but it makes me want to get out of here faster. Get off the clock. Just 'cause the baby is my reason for living, my reason for coming to work.

A liberal knows that the only certainty in this life is change but believes that the change can be directed toward a constructive end.

I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there.

In their search for quality, people seem to be looking for permanency in a time of change.

The game has kept faith with the public, maintaining its old admission price for nearly thirty years while other forms of entertainment have doubled and tripled in price. And it will probably never change.

One day I actually took the list into the bathroom and I put it up against my face and looked in the mirror and I realized I had one of two choices, change the list or change myself.

But the real focus should be on people who are buying today because the base is so big it will take a long time for any change materialize on an overall basis.