If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel.

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.

The thing that you're faulted on today is not that you are too tough, or not that you aren't careful. It's that you might have been too soft. People want that red meat now because you have to keep up with the mood and the mood today is harsh. It really is.

People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television.

If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel.

Rush has done some top-notch quality work, and we're very, very pleased with them. We really enjoy working with them. They are on time and on budget, which makes me happy.

I can't think of a performer who is better on television than in person.

I'll keep doing it until I die or the audiences die.

Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business.

You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.

Humor is very very risky, particularly for a candidate, unless he's been in so long that it just doesn't matter, and he's not running for president. But it's just that people are so sensitive and so touchy, and you're just going to upset somebody without ever realizing it.

I believe that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business... my business!

If the audience doesn't like it, usually they're just silent. But they've never all walked out at once.

You know that a given in life in human nature, is that at a sporting event, a baseball game, a football game, you never introduce a politician, is because he'll be booed. I don't care if he's the most beloved person in the world, its part of the game.

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.

The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it.

We're just moving along as quick as possible.

You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!

He's really a pipe-and-slippers kind of guy — lead pipe and hobnail slippers.

Also, for a team as strong as like ours, the Tour will always remain the biggest goal of the whole year, and personally I will certainly concentrate most of my energy on this race.

The only way to do news on television is not to be terrified of it.

My whole life, my dream has been to be a quarterback.

Make a good use of the present.

Dallas is a positive, get-it done city.

Technologies, including cell phones, have the potential to help millions of poor people out of poverty by enabling access to a range of safe, affordable financial services - most importantly, savings accounts - that have long been out of reach.

Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price.

Any woman who diets all the time can't help but be grouchy. Nobody can be amusing or entertaining on a diet.

Many times I wondered if I were truly carrying out God's plan for my life.

I did a lot of theater in the South side of Chicago.

Youth is like a long weekend on Friday night. Middle age is like a long weekend on Monday afternoon.

Appreciate water before you are thirsty! Appreciate all the good things before you need them!

He who is not a bird should not build his nest over abysses.

When you look back on music history, it falls into these neat periods, but of course, the period you yourself are living through seems totally scattered and chaotic.

We are eager to tunnel under the Atlantic and bring the Old World some weeks nearer to the New, but perchance the first news that will leak through into the broad, flapping American ear will be that the Princess Adelaide has the whooping cough.

I was a lifeguard, camp counselor, the president of the YMCA Leaders Corps. I also took piano lessons. I was a dancer.

Line... is the most important part of any painting.

On cable now, the writer is king. Any actor chases that.

I've always been proud of my body, my Jewish nose and all of that. Hollywood's Hollywood, but that's not going to change.

Rude people will now & then ask me why I think I know so much about Politics. I tell them it's because I'm Smart... But that is a lie: The real reason is because I'm an incurable Gambling addict.

Women are not pals enough with men, so we must make ourselves indispensable. After all, we have the greatest weapon in our hands by just being women.

With time, fashion has become part of my DNA.

As long as I can wear a wig I can be any character, and in real life I can be myself.

If we sit by and become complacent and put our heads in the sand were complicit.