I see my role in the Bonzos as being the straight man, in many ways.

Because Larry, by then, was a drummer, who would sort of get bored and tired, and rather stand up and blow kisses to people. So we needed the bass to sort of drive along.

I wasn't aware that Track Records were interested in the Bonzos.

It was just us lampooning our own peer group, saying, well hey, where did this stuff come from? And where does British guys get to be so good at it suddenly?

Ladies and gentleman, I've suffered for my music, now it's your turn.

I mean in recent years, I think you've only got to sell thirty or forty thousand to get a #1.

But I remember we sold nearly 18,000 records in one day.

But mostly, I wrote songs and Viv wrote songs.

But I mean, again, Zappa's far more musical than the Bonzos ever were.

In many ways, Viv and I were the only ones who were really songwriters.

In fact, Moon came on tour with us for a bit just before a big festival in Brighton, I think.

We weren't by any means like the Grateful Dead or something, who could just roll on and on and on.

So we used to look for funny songs, and learn them and play them. And we used to play them in pubs.

But we used to go to flea markets and things, and look for old 78 records that had silly song titles.

Eric Clapton always wanted to come out onstage with a stuffed parrot on his shoulder.

But Dennis was a really solid musician, and we really needed somebody who could play bass like him.

I think most musicians do like to have a laugh.

I see my role in the Bonzos as being the straight man, in many ways.

I suppose we all loved those kind of sci-fi movies where terrible things came out of swamps and came to Mars. And there's usually some poor girl. All the guys are trying to desperately handle levers and saying, go to something or other.

When we did Top of the Pops for the third time, we decided to do it as a television program here called Come Dancing, which is not as rude as it sounds.

I mean Gorilla was really our first sort of goes at songwriting.

We weren't going to play the show-biz game, and be obsequious.

I suppose Roger had the license to do anything that fitted the venue.

As I said, when we needed to move over to rock'n'roll, Sam and Vernon couldn't quite make the shift. So that's when Larry took over on drums, and we needed a bass player.

We then took a shortened version of what we'd been doing in the pubs, with the best gags and things like that, out to cabaret clubs and things in the north of England for six weeks. And we became a big success.

And Roger was crazy with his robots and everything.

Larry only ever wrote one song, and he wrote that with Tony Kaye, I think it was, from Yes.

Viv had this kind of stage presence where you couldn't ignore it. He walked onstage, he looked dangerous. You just didn't know what he was going to do.

I used to help Viv with the chords and melodies sometimes.

I can remember the frustration of not being able to talk. I knew what I wanted to say, but I could not get the words out, so I would just scream.

What I try to do for my readers is to pass on some of the things that I found out about being thirteen after doing it for forty years.

In this watering-place I acted an heroic character, badly studied; and being a novice on such a stage, I forgot my part before a pair of lovely blue eyes.

Young people discovering their sexuality must know they walk with a strong tradition and that they are not alone. They have a right to information without being pressured.

Being a publicist is like management in a lot of ways - you're their friend, you're their mother, you're their confidante.

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product.

Being a cover artist is not like being a real artist. That's just copying what someone else did.

It is too maddening. I've got to fly off, right now, to some devilish navy yard, three hours in a seasick steamer, and after being heartily sick, I'll have to speak three times, and then I'll be sick coming home. Still, who would not be sick for England?

I don't like being recognised, I have no interest in being famous at all, I just do what I do. If I could be like Captain Kirk and beam myself up and then beam myself down, I would!

I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin. You never know if someone's tape recording what you say.

Being a musician is what I do, but it's not what I am.

We're all like children. We may think we grow up, but to me, being grown up is death, stopping thinking, trying to find out things, going on learning.

We've had it very clear to the Bosnians that our obligation to equip and train their forces is completely conditional on the foreign forces being gone.

My parents were amazing people who had no business being together - and they knew it.

Teachers started recognizing me and praising me for being smart in science and that made me want to be even smarter in science!

Sure, I get the blues. But what I try to do, is apply joy to the blues, you know? I don't know if it's a technique, or just being bent that way, being raised by the folks I was raised by.

Kind thoughts are rarer than either kind words or deeds. They imply a great deal of thinking about others. This in itself is rare. But they also imply a great deal of thinking about others without the thoughts being criticisms. This is rarer still.

The judge turned his back towards me, sitting back on his judge's chair, while I was in the witness stand being questioned. The whole courtroom was full of these anarchists, leftists, communists and Jewish lobbyists.

For me, being in front of the camera and training go hand in hand.