You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh.

I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night.

At my age, the radiation will probably do me good.

Of course I've done musicals here in London.

I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and this is really true - I go on to have fun with a crowd of my chums.

I was born in very sorry circumstances.

I owe everything to the army.

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.

I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about.

I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose.

Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world.

I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen.

I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12.

I do play drums when I'm on tour.

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

I play drums, clarinet, saxophone, trumpet, french horn, piano.

In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward.

I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same.

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over.

You see I'm semi-retired now and don't work all the time, only most of it!

As you get older three things happen The first is your memory goes and I cant remember the other two.

As you get older three thing happen. The first is your memory goes and I cant remember the other two.

When literature exists, perhaps we do not notice how important it is, but when it does not exist, our lives become coarsened and brutal. For this reason, I am proud of my profession, but also aware of its importance.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

Women feel like we're fat if we can't wear the clothes we wore in high school. Men, in contrast, only start to feel fat only when they can no longer fit into a foreign car.

Unless a man has trained himself for his chance the chance will only make him ridiculous.

To be honest, I think kids have got a lot more going on than adults. They've got their heads screwed on a lot better.

Just because you're passionately interested in something doesn't mean it has to be your career. You might have to look for more than one passion. Some passions may afford a career and some may not.

I don't think there's any reason in journalism not to approach stories we cover with humility, empathy, compassion, and intellectual openness. I mean, I think those are just important human traits. I don't think that precludes scrutiny, negativity, where it's appropriate.

I don't think my parents told me enough how the world doesn't really care about me. I think it's important to tell children that the world doesn't really care about you. You have to fight to be heard.

I knew everything happened for a reason. I just wished the reason would hurry up and make itself known.

Everybody needs money, but I'm a fighter. For what I make, I'm happy with what I make. The money is not everything; it's about honor.

Massage has had a possitive effect on every medical condition we've looked at.

Meanwhile, politics is about getting a candidate in front of the public as a star, politics as rock'n'roll, politics as a movie.

I can be stressed, or tired, and I can go into a meditation and it all just flows off of me. I'll come out of it refreshed and centered and that's how I'll feel and it'll carry through the day.

Follow the yellow brick road.

Conversion for me was not a Damascus Road experience. I slowly moved into an intellectual acceptance of what my intuition had always known.

A poem generated by its own laws may be unrealized and bad in terms of so-called objective principles of taste, judgement, deduction.