There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say "when!"

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.

I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.

The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

Flowers are happy things.

Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say 'when!'

Boyhood like measles is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.

The supply of the milk of human kindness was short by several gallons

Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant better left unstirred.

There are two things that I put my focus on. One is the fight against AIDS and finding a cure. The other is human rights.

The United States cannot feed every person, lift every person out of poverty, cure every disease, or stop every conflict. But our power and status have conferred upon us a tremendous responsibility to humanity.

There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.

There is no miracle cure for the many problems of the world.

There are two reasons for drinking: one is, when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.

The surest cure for vanity is loneliness.

We may have found a cure for most evils; but we have found no remedy for the worst of them all, the apathy of human beings.

But the cure for most obstacles is, Be decisive.

The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.

And there are lots of drug companies that are working on cure or medicine.

If I found a cure for a huge disease, while I was hobbling up onstage to accept the Nobel Prize they'd be playing the theme song from 'Three's Company'.

Hush! Check those words. Do not cure ill with ill and make your pain still heavier than it is.

The sovereign cure for worry is prayer.

There is no cure for emphysema, but you can start treating it and have a better quality of life.

I'm not going to worry about the Cure slipping down into the second division; it doesn't bother me because I never expected to be in the first division anyway.

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

Premature burial works just fine as a cure for adolescence.

Sameness is the mother of disgust, variety the cure.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

There is only one cure for the evils which newly acquired freedom produces, and that cure is freedom.