The secrets that made Virginia Satir an outstanding family therapist include her belief that all people had the resources they needed to solve their problems and the ability to convey that conviction to these people.

When we "know" that we are doomed to fail, we behave in a way that ensures that, in the end, reality corresponds to our "knowledge."

What most of us need, paradoxical as it may sound, is the courage to tolerate happiness without self-sabotage until we lose the fear and realize that it does not destroy us.

Perseverance builds self-esteem.

Excellent people with a lack of self-esteem are acting against their own interests every day.

The self-concept is destiny. Or more precisely: in general at least. The self-concept is what we consciously and unconsciously believe, what and who we are.

So self-efficacy is the confidence in our internal processes - and, consequently, the disposition for the expectation that our efforts will be rewarded with success.

I miss something at a very elementary level when I am unable to build personal and professional relationships that are felt to be positive on both sides - by me and the other party (and that is meant in the interpersonal realm with competence).

Self-esteem is the conviction of our own value.

In order to successfully shape our lives, we need values ​​that we can hold to and strive for.

And as we do not live up to this standard and create a gap between our ideals and practice, self-esteem suffers.

Relaxation requires that we do not hide from ourselves and live in peace with who we are.

A chronic tension conveys the message that there is something split inside, that the self is being shunned or rejected in some form, that one does not want to have any part of the self, or that a part of the self is kept on a very short leash.

It should be clear that living consciously and living reasonably is closely related.

A high self-esteem is naturally oriented towards reality.

Self-esteem flows with reality; Self-doubts fight against it. Self-esteem speeds up the reaction time; Self-doubt slows it down.

In a commentary on the commandment that one should love one's neighbor as oneself, the philosopher Eric Hoffer explains that this is precisely the problem. That people who hate themselves also hate others.

An individual is healthy as far as he is fundamentally guided by the motive of confidence (expressed in the love of self and in the love of life)            

And the extent to which it is guided by the motive of fear is the measure of underdeveloped self-esteem.

It is in the nature of a value that it is the object of an action. And that includes the value of self-esteem.

We know that a sincere effort to understand things inspires self-confidence, and renouncing that effort has the opposite effect.

We have to become what we want to teach.

The practices that I call the six pillars of self-esteem are: 1. Conscious Living 2. Self-Assumption 3. Living Responsible 4. Self-Asserting 5. Living Purposeful 6. Personal Integrity

If we do not give our activities proper awareness, we do not live consciously.

We cannot feel competent and cherish our value if we lead a life of spiritual derangement.

Self-esteem is the reputation we earn from ourselves.

To live consciously means to take responsibility for reality. Who says that what we see must please us? But we have to realize that what is, is and that what is not is not.

To live consciously, I have to be receptive to these distinctions. What I perceive, how I interpret the perceived, and what I feel in this context are three completely different questions.

Part of a conscious life is to be aware of the occasionally tempting access of the unconscious. And that requires that we are mercilessly honest with ourselves.

If we give up, retreat, fall into passivity, or just pretend we are trying, but without being serious, then we are shrinking at the level of our consciousness. - To avoid the pain and frustration that comes from our futile efforts.

I do not live consciously when my awareness is used for everything but not to understand myself.

Part of a conscious life is that we think with reason and based on our personal experiences about the values ​​that we want to adopt for our purposes and goals.

With addiction it is probably not to be overlooked that the consciousness is avoided.

Being awake once is no guarantee that you stay awake.

Those who do not take care of themselves cannot have self-esteem.

While self-esteem is something we experience, self-acceptance is something we do. Negatively expressed: self-acceptance is the refusal to be in a hostile relationship with myself.

When we get fully involved in negative feelings, experience and accept them, it is often possible for us to let them go.

Self-acceptance includes the idea of ​​compassion, of being a friend to yourself.

If I admitted the pain of isolation and allowed myself to really feel it, without self-reproaches, I would make friends, with both sexes, and I would have seen the interest and benevolence so often met with.

My self-esteem grew as I later learned to appreciate those previously rejected parts of myself.

If we cannot accept a feeling (or thought or memory) then we should accept our resistance.

The acceptance of what is is the prerequisite for change.

Not only can we run away from our shadow side, but also from our sunny side - above all, which carries the danger that we somehow step out of the crowd or stand alone, that the hero could be awakened in us, that we can reach a higher level of consciousness.

To feel that I am suitable for life and have a right to be happy, I need the feeling that I can control my life myself.

Any serious wish implies that I can realistically answer the question: what am I willing to do to get what I want?

If I am willing to acknowledge that my values ​​are essentially a matter of choice and decision, then I can review my values, question them and, if necessary, revise them.

By taking on my responsibilities, I build my self-esteem. Responsibility = The ability to respond

By assuming responsibility for our own existence, we also recognize the fact that others are not our servants and are not there to satisfy our needs.

One of the most decisive moments in this sense is when the client realizes that nobody comes to make my life happy. There is nobody coming to solve my problems. If I do not do something myself, nothing will change for the better.