Robin Williams

If you listen real close you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on lean in. Listen you hear it Carpe diem seize the day boys make your lives extraordinary.

I have an idea for a movie called 'The Walken Dead' which is about a town where, instead of zombies, everyone becomes Chris Walken.

I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. Its not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'

When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

Reality: What a concept!

Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.

When Im riding my bicycle I feel like a Buddhist who is happy just to enjoy his mundane existence.

Sometimes over things that I did, movies that didn't turn out very well - you go, 'Why did you do that?' But in the end, I can't regret them because I met amazing people. There was always something that was worth it.

In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll find out here's the other side. You'll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

With a bike you go from zero to a hundred in terms of mobility.

If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.

I loved school, maybe too much, really. I was summa cum laude in high school. I was driven that way.

If were going to fight a disease lets fight one of the most terrible diseases of all indifference.

A lot of vets like 'Good Morning Vietnam' - I get great letters from guys.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly.

I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church.

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.

Bicycles are pieces of art. You get that combination of kinetic engineering but then besides the welds the paint jobs the kind of the sculpture of it all is quite beautiful. Bikes have such great lines and all different styles.

Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier.

The essential truth is that sometimes you're worried that they'll find out it's a fluke, that you don't really have it. You've lost the muse or - the worst dread - you never had it at all. I went through all that madness early on.

The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.

I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing.

Cats only pretend to be domesticated if they think theres a bowl of milk in it for them.

Clouds are like boogers hanging on the nostrils of the moon.

I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.

The idea of having a steady job is appealing.

I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.

A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

Youre only given a little spark of madness. You mustnt lose it.

I write on big yellow legal pads - ideas in outline form when I'm doing stand-up and stuff. It's vivid that way. I can't type it into an iPad - I think that would put a filter into the process.

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

Ah yes divorce from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet.

I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal.

I've had a lot of people tell me they watched 'Old Dogs' with their kids and had a good time.

One of my favourite actors of all time, although he doesn't necessarily play villains, is Peter Lorre.

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

Spring is nature's way of saying 'Let's party!'

I've never been asked to appear on 'I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!,' so I guess I mustn't be on the professional skids just yet.

Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves

With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people.

Youll have bad times but itll always wake you up to the good stuff you werent paying attention to.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

I think 'Dead Poets' was probably my favorite, just to get started with the idea of doing a movie that people treated as more than a movie.

Being alone onstage is like legalized insanity.

The human spirit is more powerful than any drug and that is what needs to be nourished with work play friendship family. These are the things that matter.

In 'The Secret Agent,' it's basically a character that was admired by Theodore Kaczynski, which is some fan mail you don't really want to open. This is a man who is a chemist and who specializes in making bombs and despises humanity.

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It's a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end of the world per se, but you can certainly see it from there.

You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous.

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.

From the point of view of being in the public radar, comedians have less problems than other actors. Action movie stars like Stallone or Schwarzenegger usually attract the more aggressive fans.

The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend.

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

In America they really do mythologise people when they die.

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

Sometimes you have to make a movie to make money.

No matter what people tell you words and ideas can change the world.

My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that. My solo dancing is sad. I use my arms, badly.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running.

I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.

If Heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that would be a great thing.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person theyve got nothing to lose.

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

Being in the same room with people and creating something together is a good thing.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills - no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.

There's a show in America where all these people compete with ferrets, and they don't even do anything. They basically just hold them up, and if they don't bite you, they might win.

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.