You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty.

Why is it better to love than to be loved? It is surer.

The secret of a good marriage is forgiving your partner for marrying you in the first place.

You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty.

The best way to turn a woman's head is to tell her she has a beautiful profile.

I would gladly admit women are superior to men if only they would stop trying to be the same as us.

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

The little I know I owe to my ignorance.

Our wisdom comes from our experience, and our experience comes from our foolishness.

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands.

Our wisdom comes from our experience and our experience comes from our foolishness.

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Being a Parisian is not about being born in Paris, it is about being reborn there.

Two things make the women unforgettable, their tears and their perfume.

This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels. The characters are very Indian. I decided that I wanted to do a comedy, so this was just the right one.

Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.

Nowadays three witty turns of phrase and a lie make a writer.

A witty saying proves nothing.

Your wit makes others witty.

As soon as she gets her divorce one of us is going to marry her. We don't know which. She is about as beautiful a woman as I ever saw, and very witty and well-informed, but it would cost a good deal to keep her in diamonds.

It's very witty and it's great to see teenage characters have control that way. And you can actually hear about sex and pot and it's okay, it's not completely bad and you can't say that to teenagers.

Nothing is more witty and grotesque than ancient mythology and Christianity; that is because they are so mystical.

Many a witty inspiration is like the surprising reunion of befriended thoughts after a long separation.

You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty.

People who can't be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate.

They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we all have heard the saying, which is true as well as witty, That a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.

Next to being witty, the best thing is being able to quote another's wit.

I fear nothing so much as a man who is witty all day long.

If it were not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss.

Such is the nature of men, that howsoever they may acknowledge many others to be more witty, or more eloquent, or more learned; yet they will hardly believe there be many so wise as themselves.

One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.

I'm hopefully touring with Colin Baker next year in Perfect Strangers. I have performed with Sylvia Simms in poetry and music evenings. I would love to do those for the rest of my career - they are so fun and witty.

A large nose is in fact the sign of an affable man, good, courteous, witty, liberal, courageous, such as I am.

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature.

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.

No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.

Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.

Conquered people tend to be witty.

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.

No, sir, I'm not saying that charming, witty and warm copy won't sell. I'm just saying I've seen thousands of charming, witty campaigns that didn't sell.

Everything deep is also simple and can be reproduced simply as long as its reference to the whole truth is maintained. But what matters is not what is witty but what is true.

Witty inspirations are the proverbs of the educated.

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.

You are wise, witty and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of stuff.

Though lust do masque in ne'er so strange disguise she's oft found witty, but is never wise.