Susan Smith

When I get out... if I get out of here, I hope that maybe we can get back together and have more kids.

Best wishes to you on your birthday may the day be filled with happiness a day thats so special for you and memories you will cherish.

I had never felt so lonely and so sad in my entire life.

I dropped to the lowest point when I allowed my children to go down that ramp into the water without me.

I don't know why I did it.

I know that my life is going to be hell from here on.

You're passionate, energetic and forceful, so your star sign Aries says, so have a fun packed birthday, all our love is sent your way.

Michael and Alex, I love you. And we're going to have the biggest celebration when you get home.

I am sorry for what has happened and I know that I need some help.

I was in love with someone very much, but he didn't love me and never would. I had a very difficult time accepting that. But I had hurt him very much, and I could see why he could never love me.

I want to find a quiet place, to sit with you a while, to talk about the happy times, and hope that makes you smile. Rest in Peace Darling.

I felt like things could never get any worse.

I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself for what I have done.

At this very moment, I don't feel I will be able to handle what's coming.

My children deserve to have the best, and now they will.

I wanted to end my life so bad and was in my car ready to go down that ramp into the water, and I did go part way, but I stopped. I went again and stopped. I then got out of the car and stood by the car a nervous wreck.

The hardest part of this whole ordeal is not knowing if your children are getting what they need to survive.

Why was I feeling this way? Why was everything so bad in my life? I had no answers to these questions.

I know now that it is going to be a tough and long road ahead of me.

I have prayed to God that he give me the strength to survive each day and to face those times in my life that will be extremely painful. I have put my total faith in God, and he will take care of me.

I don't get to go out but an hour a day.

I have put my faith in the Lord, and I really believe He's taking care of them. They're too beautiful and precious that He's not going to let anything happen to them.

My children, Michael and Alex, are with our Heavenly Father now, and I know that they will never be hurt again. As a mom, that means more than words could ever say.

It hurts real bad to have that protection barrier between parent and child.

I love my children. That will never change. I have prayed to them for forgiveness and hope that they will forgive me. I never meant to hurt them!!

I felt I couldn't be a good mom anymore, but I didn't want my children to grow up without a mom. I felt I had to end our lives to protect us from any grief or harm.

I broke down on Thursday, Nov. 3, and told Sheriff Howard Wells the truth. It wasn't easy, but after the truth was out, I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders.

I love my children. That will never change. I have prayed to them for forgiveness and hope that they will forgive me. I never meant to hurt them.

I knew from day one, the truth would prevail, but I was so scared I didn't know what to do.

When I left home, I was going to ride around a little while and then go to my mom's. As I rode and rode and rode, I felt even more anxiety coming upon me about not wanting to live.