Golf is a game in which you yell "Fore!", shoot six, and write down five.

If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' what is the opposite of 'progress'?

Retiring is just practicing up to be dead. That doesn't take any practice.

What is research but a blind date with knowledge?

Golf is a game in which you yell "Fore!", shoot six, and write down five.

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote.

If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of ten it will.

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be.

In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been times like these.

Like what you do, if you don't like it, do something else.

I've never seen a monument erected to a pessimist.

Golf is a game in which you yell 'Fore!', shoot six, and write down five.

I have a project at HBO and one at the Family Channel coming that are being looked at. Aside from that I am not doing much more than playing golf and some skiing.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

My first calendar was a combination of photos taken from different shoots including golf and casual.

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.

I think travel is probably the downside of playing professional golf, but you've got to do it.

Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake.

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.

I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good.

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

Confidence in golf means being able to concentrate on the problem at hand with no outside interference.

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

A golf course is nothing but a pool room moved outdoors.

In tennis, you can make a couple of mistakes and still win. Not in golf. I played three rounds in that Tahoe event, and I was drained. Mentally, not physically.

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.

For example, in my district there are visitors from all over the world who are drawn to our beautiful beaches, recreational lakes, habitat wildlife preserves and golf courses.

I've been writing a lot, I've a few projects I'm trying to finance, I do some acting, I do some directing... Apart from that, if I could get lower that a ten handicap on my golf game I'd be thrilled.

I mean, I can actually say goodbye to the game of golf, never hit another golf shot the rest of my life and I'd be happy because I can get back in life without any rotation.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

Few learn golf in a lifetime.

Tennis and golf are best played, not watched.

If there's a golf course in heaven, I hope it's like Augusta National. I just don't want an early tee time.

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

At one point, I had 14 pairs of golf shoes.

Golf courses sell real estate and that's why they're built.

My hobbies and leisure activities include cars and golf.

Both of us played basketball, and I played tennis and my knees are done. Now if you ask us head-to-head who wins at golf, I'm asking for a couple of strokes.

The object of golf is not just to win. It is to play like a gentleman, and win.

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

Let the machine take care of the machines, and I'll go spend more time with my family, or golf.

Wherever we play golf, people come out here to get autographs. They obviously come out to watch us play and see us in action, but they also want to interact with us.

I like to play golf. I like to shoot hoops.

I play a lot of charity golf mainly. I'm a bandit 18 if I play two or three times a week.

I play bad golf for good charities like the LA Police.

Golf is the most useless outdoor game ever devised to waste the time and try the spirit of man.