Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter.

A man may build himself a throne of bayonets, but he can't sit on it.

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humour.

The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so.

Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mean his maker, but himself.

True faith is belief in the reality of absolute values.

Originality is undetected plagiarism.

The aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values.

Nobody is bored when he is trying to make something that is beautiful or to discover something that is true.

It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism, while the wolf remains of a different opinion.

A nation is a society united by a delusion about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbours.

In dealing with Englishmen you can be sure of one thing only, that the logical solution will not be adopted.

We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form.

Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter.

Consciousness is a phase of mental life which arises in connection with the formation of new habits. When habit is formed, consciousness only interferes to spoil our performance.

I think middle-age is the best time, if we can escape the fatty degeneration of the conscience which often sets in at about fifty.

Many people believe that they are attracted by God, or by Nature, when they are only repelled by man.

Theater is, of course, a reflection of life. Maybe we have to improve life before we can hope to improve theater.

Public opinion, a vulgar, impertinent, anonymous tyrant who deliberately makes life unpleasant for anyone who is not content to the average person.

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.

Literature flourishes best when it is half a trade and half an art.

It is astonishing with how little wisdom mankind can be governed, when that little wisdom is its own.

To become a popular religion, it is only necessary for a superstition to enslave a philosophy.

There are no rewards or punishments - only consequences.

Whoever marries the spirit of this age will find himself a widower in the next.

Every institution not only carries within it the seeds of its own dissolution, but prepares the way for its most hated rival.

The enemies of freedom do not argue; they shout and they shoot.

No Christian can be a pessimist, for Christianity is a system of radical optimism.

Nobody is bored when he is trying to make something that is beautiful, or to discover something that is true.

We must cut our coat according to our cloth, and adapt ourselves to changing circumstances.

There are two kinds of fools One says This is old therefore it is good. The other one says This is new therefore it is better.

The happy people are those who are producing something the bored people are those who are consuming much and producing nothing.

The world belongs to those who think and act with it who keep a finger on its pulse.

A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased which is more than can be said for human beings.

In imperialism nothing fails like success. If the conqueror oppresses his subjects, they will become fanatical patriots, and sooner or later have their revenge; if he treats them well, and governs them for their good, they will multiply faster than their rulers, till they claim their independence.

The church is only a secular institution in which the half-educated speak to the half-converted.

The vulgar mind always mistakes the exceptional for the important.

Even if you walk exactly the same route each time - as with a sonnet - the events along the route cannot be imagined to be the same from day to day, as the poet's health, sight, his anticipations, moods, fears, thoughts cannot be the same.

The French are the wittiest, the most charming, and up to the present, at all events, the least musical race on Earth.

A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives or events that were painful, and I really have wracked my brain to figure it out. I pretty much have had a normal childhood. Maybe it was too normal.

I've done a lot of Super Bowls and appeared in a lot of big, big events and places and the Masters and what have you, but there was nothing as intimidating as speaking with Billy Graham.

Big shows are more like events and small shows are more like traditional gigs.

I like to create imaginary characters and events around a real historical situation. I want readers to feel: OK, this probably didn't happen, but it might have.

We not only interpret the character of events... we may also interpret our interpretations.

Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Human beings are accustomed to think of intellect as the power of having and controlling ideas and of ability to learn as synonymous with ability to have ideas. But learning by having ideas is really one of the rare and isolated events in nature.

An author who sets about to depict events of the past that have run their course is suspected of wishing to avoid the problems of the present day, of being, in other words, a reactionary.

It seems proper, at all events, that by an early enactment similar to that of other countries the application of public money by an officer of Government to private uses should be made a felony and visited with severe and ignominious punishment.

Of history, how little do we know by personal contact; we have lived a few years, seen a few men, witnessed some important events; but what are these in the whole sum of the world's past.