I really can't complain about actresses who get paid to be dumb. Most of us can't get paid to be smart.

Feminism is sort of like God. Many people profess to believe in it, but no one seems to be able to define it to everyone's satisfaction.

If you hack the Vatican server, have you tampered in God's domain?

This would not be a problem if I were driving a snowplow.

The analysis of the thing is not the thing itself.

Life is like an analogy.

The principle of Sturgeon's Razor states that the simplest answer to any problem is 90% crap.

Where can I get some tat? I'd like to trade it in.

Violence is the first refuge of the violent.

There are two types of people in the world, and I'm one of them.

I really can't complain about actresses who get paid to be dumb. Most of us can't get paid to be smart.

No one pays me to be nice.

The difference between tragedy and comedy: Tragedy is something awful happening to somebody else, while comedy is something awful happening to somebody else.

Luck consists largely of hanging on by your fingernails until things start to go your way.

I'm content to stand on tradition. I'm even more content to wipe my feet on it.

When all else fails, complicate matters.

Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent.

Any sufficiently badly-written science is indistinguishable from magic.

The way to a man's heart is through his chest.

Definition of 'Free': You pay for it whether or not you elect to receive it.

If a man is dumb, someone is going to get the best of him, so why not you? If you don't, you're as dumb as he is.

Too clever is dumb.

Innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm.

I hate it when people talk about Buffy as being campy... I hate camp, I don't enjoy dumb TV. I believe Aaron Spelling has single-handedly lowered SAT scores.

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

Generally speaking, actors are allowed NO input. Actors are dumb.

They are damn good projects - excellent projects. That goes for all the projects up there. You know some people make fun of people who speak a foreign language, and dumb people criticize something they do not understand, and that is what is going on up there - God damn it!

I mean, Eighteen years old is the age of consent in Europe and you can go anywhere and do anything you like. In America, it is dumb. At eighteen you should be able to do anything that you like, except get married.

I have been primarily interested in how and why ordinary people do unusual things, things that seem alien to their natures. Why do good people sometimes act evil? Why do smart people sometimes do dumb or irrational things?

Maybe these kids are just too young and too dumb to know about the first 13. Maybe they can't comprehend that the Braves have only won one World Series in those 13 years.

I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I smell. Did I mention I'm stupid?

You have to get the audience invested even if you're doing something that they think is dumb, it's kind of what these movies are all about.

Elvis is not so difficult as Johnny Cash because his voice is so distinctive. If you try to copy Johnny Cash, it's just going to sound dumb.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

None of us are really dumb and none of us are really smart. We're in the middle.

Would it not be much better to have a president who deliberately lied to the people because he thought a war was essential than to have one who was so dumb as to be taken in by intelligence agencies, especially those who told him what he wanted to hear?

Striving to tell his woes, words would not come; For light cares speak, when mighty griefs are dumb.

I'd played dumbasses a lot. On Mad About You, I played a very dumb waitress and they saw me.

Well, he can't be dumb, I mean, because he's been president for four years and he's president again, so you're going to get caught out if you're really bad, aren't you? Unless millions and millions of Americans are dumb.

God hears no more than the heart speaks; and if the heart be dumb, God will certainly be deaf.

Blonde is dumb comedy, red hair is smart, sexy comedy.

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.

The biggest threat to McDonald's lies within - and that is us as a company becoming complacent. There are a lot of companies that get fat, dumb and happy and take their eye off the ball and forget about serving customers.

Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music. Which of you would be a reed, dumb and silent, when all else sings together in unison?

Watch me when people say deaf and dumb, or deaf mute, and I give them a look like you might get if you called Denzel Washington the wrong name.

She said 'I'm by commission. You don't have to pay anything until you sell anything.' I said, 'Well fine. You want to be my agent and not make anything.' I thought, 'Boy, is she dumb.'

I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy.