Alvah Bessie

So, my sweetheart back home writes to me and wants to know what this gal in Bombay's got that she hasn't got. So I just write back to her and says, Nothin', honey. Only she's got it here.

When you're dealing with monkeys, you've got to expect some wrenches.

That's what the cat said to the canary when he swallowed him - 'You'll be all right.'

Maybe! Maybe! Maybe if your aunt had a beard, she'd be your uncle.