Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.

The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little.

Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.

I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?

Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.

I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.

Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

So have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel

Before you judge a man walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares Hes a mile away and youve got his shoes

Marriage is a wonderful invention then again so is the bicycle repair kit.

The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things... after the weather.

I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.

When I was in my 20s, I thought I knew who I was. And then as soon as I turned 30, I realized that person has bruises and bumps and dark parts. And you kind of go, well, that's it. I'd rather embrace it than force myself to change.

The most difficult part of any crime novel is the plotting. It all begins simply enough, but soon you're dealing with a multitude of linked characters, strands, themes and red herrings - and you need to try to control these unruly elements and weave them into a pattern.

I love a good remix! Moto Blanco did a great one of 'I Hope'.

Just because they disagree doesnt mean you aint right.

Like many Americans my thoughts and prayers are with the people of London. My deepest sympathies are extended to those who lost a loved one in the recent terror attacks.

People stop buying things, and that is how you turn a slowdown into a recession.

The last thing I want to do is to make the mistakes of the past.

A wise man knows learn from others never get complacent and know where the classic old dangers come from.

America has a problem with fake hate crimes. The Left is always searching for the next big outrage, and sometimes when the pressure gets too high, they just decide to make them up.

Guts win more games than ability.

I'm a Democrat because I represent the true traditions of the Democratic Party.

You dont have to know about ballet to enjoy it all you have to do is look at it.

I'd dropped out of high school without really doing it on purpose - I'd just go home at lunch 'cos I didn't have friends, then stay there all afternoon listening to rap. It got to the point where I wouldn't have passed even if I'd gone back. I was depressed, basically.

Why can't DFW compete like San Francisco does with Oakland, like Miami does with Fort Lauderdale, and like Chicago O'Hare does with Midway?

Have you heard a single national figure tell you all of the crises of the recent past are not economic, they're cultural?

Node.js is a tumor on the programming community, in that not only is it completely braindead, but the people who use it go on to infect other people who can't think for themselves.