I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they're going to see it, especially her guy friends.

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, 'you don't mention that part here.' But that's what's interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.

I've had a pilot every single year that didn't sell for the past four years, that'll smack you in the back of the head. I had a really good one last year; I wouldn't have done the play in New York if I had gotten that one.

The nature of comedy is 'just do it.' But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it's just saying what's wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone's ringing a lot more and I've got nine lines so when it doesn't ring, it's very frustrating.

I don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought you really loved me.' It's all about how bad people are and I just hate that. I like Pimp my Ride where someone is helping somebody.

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.

I think Desperate Housewives is a pretty good show, I watch it, I like it and I don't love reality tv that much. I do watch some, I've got three daughters so we'll watch the good stuff, the fun stuff.

I just did a play in New York which has been my best experience that I've had for maybe ever. It was Paul Weitz's play called Privilege and I was in New York for three months.

25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.

I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.

Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will a family do out of desperation.

It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive.

There was this whole middle time that only Chris Rock came out of, you know, 10 years ago it was Chris and a few other people, but that's about it. Chris is in a class of his own; I don't see another comedian who I put in high regard as him.

I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet.

I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they're going to see it, especially her guy friends.

I become a chameleon for wherever I am.

I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.

I never expected to live this long.

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.

I really love making people laugh.

My confidence wavers between being genuine and being insecure.

Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.

When you're famous, you're always famous. It doesn't go away.

Apparently my street has a leaf blower gang who tag team all day so the sounds of the leaf blower are forever blowing from dawn to dusk.

The secret to raising children is to love them. And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.

We all respect sincerity in our friends and acquaintances, but Hollywood is willing to pay for it.

Young actors often don't think of the consequences of doing nudity or sex scenes. They want the role so badly that they agree to be exploited, and then end up embarrassing family, friends, and even strangers.

Personally, I'd never seen a graphic novel. I knew they existed because friends of mine like Jonathan Ross collect them and some very literate and intelligent people really rate the graphic novel as a form.

Whether I'm doing music or I'm walking down the street or I'm in a record store buying a record or I walk into a comic store and I'm buying comics or having a drink with my friends, it's the same me.

I'm so happy because today I found my friends - they're in my head.

I didn't tell anybody about my plan because I was convinced my family or friends would stop me. I didn't think much about what would happen afterwards.

I was stuck at home in bed with me and got more and more involved with the Internet. I used it to keep in contact with friends and to make sure I was up to date with everything that was going on in the world.

He who hath many friends hath none.

In high school and college all my friends and my brother wrestled.

I rarely do masks because, if I have any extra time, I'd rather spend it with my friends than on myself.

I don't know the vast majority of you personally, and it may sound kind of corny, but I really feel as if we've become friends through the years. And you've been with me during a lot of good times and some very difficult ones. I can't tell you how grateful I am.

David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends.

I just have some restaurants to just go and eat there. Do mean places to watch people? I like to go shopping look for guitars and stuff with my friends. Look at Meyer, great old instruments, talk about pedals and stuff.

With the success of the last three or so years, when a lot of people start treating you differently, there's a danger that you may start to think of yourself differently. You rely on your friends to say, 'Hey, wake up!'

Good books, like good friends, are few and chosen; the more select, the more enjoyable.

It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.

There are some friends you don't meet for twenty years and when you meet them again it's as if no twenty years has happened - you're lucky when that happens. I feel the same about books.

And when we draw lines in the sand with regard to certain basic things that are vital to our interest and to the interest of democracy and our friends around the world, we have to be willing to back that up.

The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.

Character is power; it makes friends, draws patronage and support and opens the way to wealth, honor and happiness.