Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.

Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it.

In writing I found something I could do at least as well as my peers, if not better.

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.

You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.

These are books that want to be read out loud. These are books kids share with each other, and I think that's important.

When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke.

I love the semicolon; it's unnecessary, but graceful and sophisticated.

Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.

I like all things grammatical, and I had already written several books about parts of speech, and even the alphabet, so everything that makes up a sentence and even a word was covered except for punctuation.

If I have a talent for making some fourth-grader who hates school and reading to hate it a little less, then I have to do the most with what I've been issued.

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young.

I have some road rage inside of me. Traffic, especially in L.A., is a pet peeve of mine.

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

We all have our pet things that we like to get religious about.

Those who wish to pet and baby wild animals "love" them. But those who respect their natures and wish to let them live normal lives, love them more.

I used to have this little mouse. I buy birds from the pet store and I let them go.

It doesn't work if the bad guys kill his mother's uncle's friend's neighbor's pet dog. You've got to make the stakes high.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

I have a Lab, it's fun to hang out and hike with the dog, people come up to him, and pet him, it's fun.

I think there's something great and generic about goldfish. They're everybody's first pet.

I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation.

Teach your children how to behave with animals. Adopt a pet. Don't go buy one. Please. That's a sin. Let's get these puppy mills out of business.

Crabbed and obscure definitions are of no use beyond a narrow circle of students, of whom probably every one has a pet one of his own.

I heard that Jesus had a pet dinosaur. Evolution must be a myth then.

The world spends $40 billion a year on pet food.

We are telling veterans they must sacrifice to pay for the pet projects and contracts to campaign donors of powerful members of Congress.

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

I always pet a dog with my left hand because if he bit me I'd still have my right hand to paint with.

When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want your pet to be.

The government needs to help those in need, but members of Congress shouldn't take advantage of the situation and use a national tragedy as an opportunity to spend taxpayer dollars on their pet projects.

I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan.

To this day I don't ever remember seeing a pet inside Moscow, I never saw anyone carrying a dog, or leading a dog. Err I finally saw a, a pet some years later in Kiev, so I thought that life must have been, different.

Gypsy was the name my brother gave a pet turtle he had. I always thought it was so peculiar.

A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.

Pet me, touch me, love me, that's what I get when I perform. That's when I'm really getting what I want.

Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.

I'm not about to go out and buy a snake for a pet. I mean, I may have faced a few fears but I'm not insane.

It's true, you can never eat a pet you name. And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy.

I am an enthusiast, but not a crank in the sense that I have some pet theories as to the proper construction of a flying machine. I wish to avail myself of all that is already known and then, if possible, add my mite to help on the future worker who will attain final success.

I'm scared to death of being poor. It's like a fat girl who loses 500 pounds but is always fat inside. I grew up poor and will always feel poor inside. It's my pet paranoia.

I was in New York and I walked into this pet store and came out with a dog.

Pet lovers know that animals sometimes understand us better than we do, and the annals of human sin and desire provide plenty of stories to drive the point home.

A few years ago, the city council of Monza, Italy, barred pet owners from keeping goldfish in curved bowls... saying that it is cruel to keep a fish in a bowl with curved sides because, gazing out, the fish would have a distorted view of reality. But how do we know we have the true, undistorted picture of reality?

A lizard is a perfect pet for a model. They only need feeding once a fortnight. And I'm always travelling, so it's perfect. If I had a dog, it would drop dead of starvation.

A move to a different town or school gives us new places to explore, new people to meet; a lost pet means we have to organize a careful search; baby-sitting requires looking out for dangers a young child can't foresee; a car crash or fire demands that we get help immediately.