Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

It is matrimonial suicide to be jealous when you have a really good reason.

Male supremacy has kept woman down. It has not knocked her out.

There is nothing harder than the softness of indifference.

In the final analysis there is no other solution to man's progress but the day's honest work, the day's honest decision, the day's generous utterances, and the day's good deed.

Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but, unlike charity, it should end there.

I refuse the compliment that I think like a man, thought has no sex, one either thinks or one does not.

They say that women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men.

A man's home may seem to be his castle on the outside; inside is more often his nursery.

But if God wanted us to think with our wombs, why did he give us a brain.

Thoughts have no sex.

But if God had wanted us to think just with our wombs, why did He give us a brain?

There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown hopeless about them.

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face.

A man has only one escape from his old self: to see a different self in the mirror of some woman's eyes.

You know, that's the only good thing about divorce; you get to sleep with your mother.

There is nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife.

The women who inspired this play deserved to be smacked across the head with a meat ax and that, I flatter myself, is exactly what I smacked them with.

In politics women type the letters, lick the stamps, distribute the pamphlets and get out the vote. Men get elected.

Advertising has done more to cause the social unrest of the 20th century than any other single factor.

Politicians talk themselves red, white, and blue in the face.

The oppressed never free themselves - they do not have the necessary strengths.

Women know what men have long forgotten. The ultimate economic and spiritual unit of any civilization is still the family.

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes"; They will say, "Women don't have what it takes".

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men.

I don't have a warm personal enemy left. They've all died off. I miss them terribly because they helped define me.

Nature abhors a virgin - a frozen asset.

Technological man can't believe in anything that can't be measured, taped, or put into a computer.

Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes'; They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes.' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'

A mans home may seem to be his castle on the outside inside is more often his nursery.

Censorship like charity should begin at home but unlike charity it should end there.

Communism is the opiate of the intellectuals with no cure except as a guillotine might be called a cure for dandruff.

Lying increases the creative faculties expands the ego and lessens the frictions of social contacts.

A man has only one escape from his old self to see a different self in the mirror of some womans eyes.

The main thing is to get what little happiness there is out of life in this wartorn world because these are the good old days now.

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, she doesn't have what it takes. They will say, women don't have what it takes.

All history shows that the hand that cradles the rock has ruled the world, not the hand that rocks the cradle!

I can remember the frustration of not being able to talk. I knew what I wanted to say, but I could not get the words out, so I would just scream.

What I try to do for my readers is to pass on some of the things that I found out about being thirteen after doing it for forty years.

In this watering-place I acted an heroic character, badly studied; and being a novice on such a stage, I forgot my part before a pair of lovely blue eyes.

Young people discovering their sexuality must know they walk with a strong tradition and that they are not alone. They have a right to information without being pressured.

Being a publicist is like management in a lot of ways - you're their friend, you're their mother, you're their confidante.

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.