I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you.

I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you.

Remember one thing about democracy. We can have anything we want and at the same time, we always end up with exactly what we deserve.

You gotta have swine to show you where the truffles are.

The difference between critics and audiences is that one is a group of humans and one is not.

Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.

The thing that makes a creative person is to be creative and that is all there is to it.

What people really want in the theater is fantasy involvement and not reality involvement.

Your source material is the people you know, not those you don't know, but every character is an extension of the author's own personality.

Sometimes a person has to go a very long distance out of his way to come back a short distance correctly.

A play is fiction - and fiction is fact distilled into truth.

Good writers define reality; bad ones merely restate it. A good writer turns fact into truth; a bad writer will, more often than not, accomplish the opposite.

I'm not suggesting that the play is without fault; all of my plays are imperfect, I'm rather happy to say-it leaves me something to do.

American critics are like American universities. They both have dull and half-dead faculties.

If Attila the Hun were alive today, he'd be a drama critic.

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.

One must let the play happen to one; one must let the mind loose to respond as it will, to receive impressions, to sense rather than know, to gather rather than immediately understand.

Careers are funny things. They begin mysteriously and, just as mysteriously, they can end; and I am at just the very beginning of what I hope will be a long and satisfying life in the theater. But, whatever happens, I am grateful to have had my novice work received so well, and so quickly.

He that has been bitten by a snake is afraid of a rope.

I am convinced that no one is fully educated without a full grounding in the arts.

It's a good idea to have friends both in Heaven and in Hell.

My exposure to Beckett and to late O'Neill was probably important right at the time I gave up poetry and the novel.

Never marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

Old people whimper, and cry, and belch, and make great hollow rumbling sounds at table; old people wake up in the middle of the night screaming, and find out they haven't even been asleep; and when old people are asleep, they try to wake up, and they can't... not for the longest time.

That's all that counts. People being sorry. Makes you feel better; gives you a sense of dignity, and that's all that's important; a sense of dignity. And it doesn't matter if you don't care or not, either. You got to have a sense of dignity, even if you don't care, 'cause, if you don't have that, civilization's doomed.

The avant-garde theater is fun; it is free-swinging, bold, iconoclastic, and often wildly, wildly funny. If you will approach it with childlike innocence - putting your standard responses aside, for they do not apply - if you will approach it on its own terms, I think you will be in for a liberating surprise.

Few sensible authors are happy discussing the creative process--it is, after all, black magic.

Being different is ... interesting theres nothing implicitly inferior or superior about it. Great difference of course produces natural caution and if the differences are too extreme ... well then reality tends to fade away.

The final evaluation of a play has nothing to do with immediate audience or critical response.

Any definition which limits us is deplorable.

Remember one thing about democracy. We can have anything we want and at the same time, we always end up with exactly what we deserve

Progress is a set of assumptions.

Sincerity doesn't mean anything. A person can be sincere and be more destructive than a person who is insincere.

I hate failure and that divorce was a Number One failure in my eyes. It was the worst period of my life. Neither Desi nor I have been the same since, physically or mentally.

I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you.

Please do not ask me to talk about my divorce. Mr. Ziegfeld and I are such very good friends. It is only a little matter quite between ourselves.

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.

You can fire your secretary, divorce your spouse, abandon your children. But they remain your co-authors forever.

There's nothing like a family crisis, especially a divorce, to force a person to re-evaluate his life.

Anybody who's been through a divorce will tell you that at one point. they've thought murder. The line between thinking murder and doing murder isn't that major.

I'm not saying that people should not divorce, but at the rate at which it happens here is sick. The kids, they suffer. I don't care what anyone says.

With The Key, it was, I had gone through a divorce and losing my father, and just kinda really reminiscing about how much I loved the traditional side of country music, so I made a record that was really traditional from start to finish.

Sometimes divorce is better than marriage.

To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while.

The day I initiated divorce proceedings against Michael Farmer, I was ready to retire to a desert cave and rethink my life.

Peace, of course, is different from divorce; indeed, in essential respects, divorce is the opposite of peace.

My parent's divorce and hard times at school, all those things combined to mold me, to make me grow up quicker. And it gave me the drive to pursue my dreams that I wouldn't necessarily have had otherwise.

As soon as she gets her divorce one of us is going to marry her. We don't know which. She is about as beautiful a woman as I ever saw, and very witty and well-informed, but it would cost a good deal to keep her in diamonds.