So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.

It's never occurred to me to worry about my health, or that I'll get old, or that people will stop laughing at me.

Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.

My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.

My wife said to me: 'If you won the lottery, would you still love me?' I said: 'Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you.'

People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads; it is ridiculous.

The thirties were troublesome in Belfast, and then of course there was no work for people, and it was terribly religiously divided.

What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

I want to feel good, I want to feel proud, I want to feel that I give someone enough and that I get enough.

You should never feel comfortable. There is something wrong if you are. You should always feel under threat, on the edge of your seat and pushing yourself. Win one and you want to win more. It's never-ending.

I want to have babies one day but not right now. When I do it I want to do it really well. I want it to be my best project in life.

When producers want to know what the public wants, they graph it as curves. When they want to tell the public what to get, they say it in curves.

I want the municipality to be a helping hand to the man with a desire of sympathy, to help the fallen when it is not in their power to help themselves.

Get me inside any boardroom and I'll get any decision I want.

The avantgarde are people who don't exactly know where they want to go, but are the first to get there.

If I had to come up with something that just came to me, I think growing up in a small town, I want knowledge. I still think today, knowledge is one of the keys.

I want to thank all the fans for their support over the years. Keep supporting the Knicks, we're moving in the right direction here and we will be exciting to watch and competing against the best in the NBA. Come back to the Garden for those exciting games.

If you want something that's going to provide you with a lot of challenges and a variety of different things to do, then you really can't beat a place like the Air Force. I don't mean this to sound like a recruiting pitch. But it's been a lot of fun.

I want to spend more time with those kids. I want to dedicate my time to train those kids and teach them what it takes, what they need to do to get to this level.

Young actors often don't think of the consequences of doing nudity or sex scenes. They want the role so badly that they agree to be exploited, and then end up embarrassing family, friends, and even strangers.

At one point in your life, you'll have the thing you want or the reasons why you don't.

It is the privilege of the gods to want nothing, and of godlike men to want little.

Teachers started recognizing me and praising me for being smart in science and that made me want to be even smarter in science!

I try to teach my heart not to want things it can't have.

Once you drink one glass, you want another.

If you want to grow old as a pilot, you've got to know when to push it, and when to back off.

I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I've had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted.

Women don't like advice. They don't want you to fix their problems, they just want you to listen.

Since the beginning, I always loved the game. When you grow up in Montreal, one day you want to be a professional hockey player. When I was six or seven, I knew that was what I wanted.

In a theater, the part is mine and I can control it as I want to. In the movies, I don't have direct contact, and I am fighting technical machinery.

I don't want to sound pompous, but I really think your gender doesn't necessarily dominate your sexual activity.

I want to do other things like more fashion campaigns.

People don't want to be plagued by not knowing-they want answers.

I don't know of many evangelicals who want to deny gay couples their legal rights. However, most of us don't want to call it marriage, because we think that word has religious connotations, and we're not ready to see it used in ways that offend us.

I want to promote poetry to the point where you got all the baldhead kids running around doing poetry, getting the music out of the way and having only words, the spoken word, and then see what happens.

If you have what you want to say inside, and if you are crying for something that is true inside, it doesn't matter. The camera always sees it.

Lutherans, whose arguments and mistakes will not be difficult to contest or discover, do not want to attribute any value to works, and they do not understand enough the scope of the justification.

One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.

To me many short poems read and write like beginnings that simply whet my appetite; I want to get over that.

The fact that it's science fiction gives you the license to do anything you want to do.

I want to make something commercial that people can pick up on.

I could have anything I wanted and if I didn't have it, it was because I didn't want it.

I never trust an executive who tends to pass the buck. Nor would I want to deal with him as a customer or a supplier.

I was determined to carve out a music of my own. I didn't want to copy anybody.