George Ade

The serpent is helpless unless he finds an apple to work with.

A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.

A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.

To insure peace of mind ignore the rules and regulations.

R-E-M-O-R-S-E! Those dry martinis did the work for me; Last night at twelve I felt immense, Today I feel like thirty cents.

One man’s poison ivy is another man’s spinach.

Opportunity knocks once at every mans door and then keeps on knocking.

Only the more rugged mortals should attempt to keep up with current literature.

It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after.

One man's poison Ivy is another man's spinach.

Those who have tried meekness know the importance of being important.

A good folly is worth what you pay for it.

One man's poison ivy is another man's spinach.

In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense.

The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.

For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.

In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic in the country it is a form of entertainment.

She was short on intellect, but long on shape.

Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant.

A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.

Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people.

After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity.

Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.

Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.