If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.

To insure peace of mind ignore the rules and regulations.

Only the more rugged mortals should attempt to keep up with current literature.

It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after.

One man's poison Ivy is another man's spinach.

A good folly is worth what you pay for it.

In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.

For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.

Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense.

She was short on intellect, but long on shape.

A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.

Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people.

After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity.

Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.

A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.

One man's poison ivy is another man's spinach.

Opportunity knocks once at every mans door and then keeps on knocking.

In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic in the country it is a form of entertainment.

The serpent is helpless unless he finds an apple to work with.

R-E-M-O-R-S-E! Those dry martinis did the work for me; Last night at twelve I felt immense, Today I feel like thirty cents.

Those who have tried meekness know the importance of being important.

One man’s poison ivy is another man’s spinach.

Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant.

Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.

The last occasions when the timetable of our lives would be interrupted for many years to come.

I've been hit hard a few times, been hit really hard a few times, but I don't think I've ever left a memorable, lasting impression on anyone I've ever hit.

I was with Tina Turner when she first saw Janis Joplin, and she said to Janis, 'Honey, you can't continue to sing like that, or you'll have no voice,' and Janis' response was just to laugh and take a swig on her Southern Comfort.

I will remain on the throne until I fall off.

When I did the video for 'Holding Out For A Hero,' we filmed that on top of the Grand Canyon, and that was quite frightening. I was close to the edge, and there was a helicopter hovering about, creating a lot of wind, and I was nervous I was going to fall off.

Walking is pretty easy. You just have to be confident, like not caring. And honestly, people think about their walk too much, so they try to do something really interesting, but the designers hate it.

America, ladies and gentlemen, has done more for me financially than Britain ever has, or ever could have done.

I don't much care who is gay or straight or married or not. I mostly notice if they are brave enough to confront bigotry.

Lady Gaga listens to me. Her mantra is only one word - 'Bikram' - because Bikram makes her what she is today. It works.

The dark side is when you are with family and friends, and you have paparazzi screaming at you - that's been hard to deal with.

Love is not enough. It must be the foundation the cornerstonebut not the complete structure. It is much too pliable too yielding.

The fuel cell is just a fundamentally inferior way of delivering electrical energy to an electric motor than batteries.

Faith. It’s all about believing. You don’t know how it will happen. But you know it will.

Black care rarely sits behind the rider whose pace is fast enough.

The state of ambiguity “ that messy, greasy, mixed-up, confused, and awful situation you're living through right now “ is enlightenment itself.

Nobody says you have to be shackled to tradition.

My parents were farmers' kids from South Dakota. My dad was an engineer. I wanted to be responsible and major in something pragmatic.

Leaping away from my mistakes has propelled me forward. It has great force behind it. It makes for great storytelling.

It's amazing that for actors mostly, it's a risk to attach yourself to a film that you don't know whether or not it's going to even be made and if you sign on, in doing so, who else is going to be in the movie with you.

I helped launch 'ET'... I like to see things start, grow, and then move on to better things.

I knew nothing about sales, marketing or how to run a company. Nor did I have a desire to do any of those things.