I feel I'm as qualified for office as any of the other comedians who are running.

For some time I've had my eye on Tom McCall's seat - which is a great deal more than he's had on it.

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.

Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.

I feel I'm as qualified for office as any of the other comedians who are running.

Dont be afraid your life will end. Be afraid that it will never begin.

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.

My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens.

Comedians are not usually actors, but imitations of actors.

Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.

I was up until all hours of the night, listening to stories, meeting great old comedians.

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.

It seemed to me you could do anything in comics. So I started doing my thing, which is mainly influenced by novelists, stand-up comedians, that sort of thing.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

Ever since I was a kid, I just loved those comedians on TV who would just have fun with the language.

I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.

The real good comedians, like Chaplin, would make you laugh and a second later, cry.

Whatever talent I had, I'm sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors.

Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.

But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake.

I thought comedians had to have black on their faces or red beards.

Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.

They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50.

I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.

It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in the early '70s to reconsider. I decided against it.

I have worked with a great many comedians as opposed to comics, although I have worked with comics as well, I make the distinction.

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Normally, I name my characters after famous comedians.

Sure, the comedians who swear or use scatological humor can get laughs, but they're uncomfortable laughs.

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

I do a lot of Vegas work and work with the comedians.

My grandfather was running Hillcrest Country Club, and that's where a whole group of Hollywood comedians hung out.

Comedians still make fun of Bill's out-of-control appetites, but with Hillary, the mockery is about how she lets nothing be out of control.

Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.

The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.

I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.

The only one that got through was Jimmy Walker, because he plays the gas station attendant. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just that we were kind of purists at the time, and we didn't want any comedians.

Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.

I'm no way one of those comedians who want to do drama. I really do love comedies. I hope to go back to it.

It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're writers who perform their own material. It's more interesting. And they're sexy because they risk more. Stand-up comedians risk more than anyone.

A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.

I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it.

The trouble with most comedians who try to do satire is that they are essentially brash, noisy and indelicate people who have to use a sledge hammer to smash a butterfly.

Comedians and impressionists used to be two different showbiz animals entirely, but now there's no such thing as a comedian who doesn't do impressions.

It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.