True Yankees are born, not made.

True Yankees are born, not made.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.

Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.

I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.

I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.

I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.

I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone.

Marc Maron's podcast success has nothing to do with my podcast success. If I do a quarter of a million downloads, I can show that to an advertiser as a fact, and that's that.

Self-respect, the value of 'face,' is universal but is most pronounced in China, then in Japan where the Confucian ethic is most influential.

Religion is capable of driving people to such dangerous folly that faith seems to me to qualify as a kind of mental illness.

I would have loved to have been in a Hitchcock movie.

American critics are like American universities. They both have dull and half-dead faculties.

Contradictions are the impossible chasms that create forever separations. God is the forever bridge that creates impossible reunions.

Life well spent is long.

To punish MPs because of the distance they live from London - those with fast train journeys quite close to London as well as those at some distance from both the capital or an appropriate airport - is perverse, but also dangerous to democracy.

There's been a lot of role reversal going on in the band. The roles people have been playing for a long time will always be there, but everybody's willing to try on different outfits.

In a lot of ways, I wasn't a normal teenager.

The great attraction to 'American Gangster' is these two great characters who are absolute paradoxes within their own sphere.

All of the information in the universe is stored in the relationships not the material and like light, the information has no mass

Tacos are like what the voices of a hundred angels singing Bob Dylan while sitting on rainbows and playing banjos would taste like if that sound were edible.

Certainty is missing the point entirely.

I've never done a studio movie, let alone worked for a network. Every one of my films has been independently financed.

I did not get Botox because you wouldn't see any expression in my face. Hopefully it has paid off.

Yeah I grew up on the Westside of Detroit.

The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success: concentration, discrimination, organization, innovation and communication.

I'm going to tell stories to the world. I think there's time for me to grow. We'll see.

I don't want to be submerged by depression.

I think that for me, it's God, family and Yahoo - in that order.

Pay attention to the big themes because that's what will help you earn ten times your money.

When you're a writer, you never know which of your pieces are going to gain a toehold and which will not, and it's best not to care too much.

No human being is innocent, but there is a class of innocent human actions called Games.

We get so caught up in winning all the time, but it's also even more important to be a good person, so that's what I learned.