I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Communism is like one big phone company.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.

The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

There are never enough I Love You's.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

All my humor is based on destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing in the bread line - right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

I don't have an act. I just talk. I'm just Lenny Bruce.

I don't read enough books, so I guess I'm pretty shallow. I'm a lot into the physical. With me, first attraction is never intellectual.

I'm not a comedian. And I'm not sick. The world is sick, and I'm the doctor. I'm a surgeon with a scalpel for false values.

If God made the body, and the body is dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.

The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.

Anyone who has two shirts when someone has none is not a christian.

Songwriting is my gift from God.

This is God's work. Therefore it must be triumphant. There is no place for misgiving or despondency.

Many are needed to plant and water what has been planted now that the faith has spread so far and there are so many people... No matter who plants or waters, God gives no harvest unless what is planted is the faith of Peter and unless he agrees to his teachings.

God tempers the wind to the shorn lamb.

I frankly don't care if you agree with my stand on abortion. I take that stand because no other stand is consistent with decent principles, and no other standard is consistent with the will of God.

The robe of flesh wears thin, and with the years God shines through all things.

The good poet sticks to his real loves, those within the realm of possibility. He never tries to hold hands with God or the human race.

Humanity is the sin of God.

Fight the good fight of faith, and God will give you spiritual mercies.

We are all gifted, but we have to discover the gift, uncover the gift, nurture and develop the gift and use it for the Glory of God and for the liberation struggle of our people.

This subsistence, or manner of being of God is his one essence so far as it has personal properties.

When you focus on being a blessing, God makes sure that you are always blessed in abundance.

Two days after moving we recommended ourselves to God, Our Lord, and fled, hoping that, although it was late in the season and the fruits of the tunas were giving out, by remaining in the field we might still get over a good portion of the land.

When I see children, I see the face of God. That's why I love them so much. That's what I see.

'Thou shalt not get found out' is not one of God's commandments; and no man can be saved by trying to keep it.

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

There is one thing higher than Royalty: and that is religion, which causes us to leave the world, and seek God.

The Christian must trust in a withdrawing God.

Disney had such a hold on the mind of America-they were Adolf Hitler. The whole country thought Disney was some sort of god and that animation was some sort of pure thing for children.

Into every soul, however purged and fenced, evil appears to have as much freedom of entrance as God Himself.

Learn about the world, the way it works, any kind of science and anthropology, it's really an interesting place we live in. Evolution is a really fantastic idea, even more than the idea of God I think.