I've been in Vegas. That's where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That's the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.

I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.

Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.

I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.

I've been in Vegas. That's where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That's the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.

I have a very warm spot in my heart for Vegas.

You have to be funny about it and honest about it. You can't leave yourself out of that mix. You have to be honest enough to say, I'm that messed-up one in the family.

Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that.

I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And I hurt people.

We all think we're going to get out of debt.

A real estate closer. Oh, what's that? I'm a real estate opener. What is a real estate closer? You mean at the end where you've got to sign all those papers?

We were on welfare when we were kids. Thanks for reminding me of that.

I started a big part of my career in Vegas.

All great comedians make me laugh, but people make me laugh more.

Everybody wanted to make it. One guy makes it. In a family when one guy makes it... 'Hey ain't you going to help us out?'

Everyone always comes to one point in their life as an artist where you can either let your heart guide you or your ego.

I can't stay long; I'm in between meals.

I had been asking the universe and God to send me a way for me to help me. Show business has been so wonderful to me, and it came in the form of that. It's just so funny how things come into your life, and if you take a chance on them, it might give you a brand new life.

I have about 1,000 hours of myself on tape in a vault in Los Angeles. But I also have a photographic memory about my jokes, because they're really about me; they're my stories.

I really try to have fun. If I don't have fun, you won't have fun. That's what my gift is: to relieve people from a little of the pain and comfort in their lives by allowing my comedy to distract them. A good laugh is almost as good as any doctor visit.

I was 10th of 11 kids in an alcoholic, abusive, poor family. We all want things that we can't have. And I found comedy.

I was kind of a Rickles comic to begin with. I was caustic, and I was abusive and mean to the audience.

I would trade everything I have to have had a happier childhood.

If I have food in the house and I'm laying in bed, I go, 'I bet that Captain Crunch is lonely in the cupboard.'

Well, isn't every successful person in every family the bankbook?

When I say, 'I can't stay long, I'm in-between meals,' that plays differently on the radio than it does in person. So I have to pick material that works because the words are funny, not just because of the images.

You can't open anything after your 50. You have to wait 'til people stop by the house. 'Oh my God, I'm glad you're here.'

I felt ashamed for what I had done. I dont have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldnt pawn this off on anybody. Im sorry it happened. And I hurt people.

I also do not like the idea of soft money, these issue ads - people don't know where the money is coming from, millions and millions of dollars outside of the control of a candidate - there's no accountability.

Stories come from other shows at other studios where only 2,000 rounds were actually used and the money for the other 3,000 went right into the studio pockets. Corners were cut and that production suffered. Knock wood, that hasn't happened to us.

Never play anything that don't sound right. You might not make any money, but at least you won't get hostile with yourself.

Don't make music for some vast, unseen audience or market or ratings share or even for something as tangible as money. Though it's crucial to make a living, that shouldn't be your inspiration. Do it for yourself.

When I sent those scripts, that was the lowest point of my life. We'd just had our second son, and when I went to collect them from hospital, I went to the bank to try and get some money to buy some diapers, the screen showed I've got $26 left.

One does not need buildings, money, power, or status to practice the Art of Peace. Heaven is right where you are standing, and that is the place to train.

I would rather take the role and work and make my own money and self respect than to have sex with someone who has a lot of money.

People may take a job for more money, but they often leave it for more recognition.

I make no claim to being a business genius. You can make so much money in this business that it loses its value.

It costs a great deal of money to do a musical, and the more money involved, the more big business influences the artform.

The world over, give a guy money and it goes to drinking, gambling, and women. When you give a woman money, it goes to feeding, clothing, helping people.

Your team has to understand that coming into the ABA, you have to have your investments right and sponsorships and people ready to give you money so they can back you up.

I wanted to be an actress. In college I was a serious feminist and very political. I was determined to get one thing out of my career and that was respect. I didn't want money. I didn't care about fame.

A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it.

If you're a producer, you always spend too much money because you want that shot - and you're willing to spend a bundle to get it.

We are demonstrating for services for all the people and not just services for money. It's very important that this message goes to the European Parliament today.

I write plays not to make money, but to stop myself from going mad. Because it's my way of making the world rational to me.

It's important not to limit the amount of their own money that candidates can spend, but to give other people access to enough money to run competitive races.

The rule is not to talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you.

It's about the power of design and the power of the human spirit. It's above paying anybody to do something stupid for money like reality television does - like ambushing people.

Today, they're just up there for the money, just packaged and be gone.