Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.

A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.

A smile is the universal welcome.

Robert Benchley has a style that is weak and lies down frequently to rest.

I don't know why it is we are in such a hurry to get up when we fall down. You might think we would lie there and rest for a while.

A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke.

It is art that makes life, makes interest, makes importance and I know of no substitute whatever for the force and beauty of its process.

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together.

A liberal mind is a mind that is able to imagine itself believing anything.

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.

The defining function of the artist is to cherish consciousness.

People who demand neutrality in any situation are usually not neutral but in favor of the status quo.

The worst enemy of human hope is not brute facts, but men of brains who will not face them.

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Emotion is the surest arbiter of a poetic choice, and it is the priest of all supreme unions in the mind.

Classic art was the art of necessity: modern romantic art bears the stamp of caprice and chance.

Dogs laugh but they laugh with their tails.

Emotion is the surest arbiter of a poetic choice and it is the priest of all supreme unions in the mind.

Patriotism is one of the unalterable facts of man's nature. It is a virtue if you like it, and a vice if you don't like it.

I like to take pictures of lots of things: people-such as my nephews, my dogs, and just interesting objects that I see. For instance, I might take a picture of flowers by the side of the road, an old sign or a fence.

I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don't spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.

I am elected by the people of Bucharest, not the dogs.

My feet are dogs.

The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.

Happens to everybody. Horses, dogs, men. Nobody gets out of life alive.

I'm looking more like my dogs every day - it must be the shaggy fringe and the ears.

Of the seven experiments, the ones that have been most investigated so far have been the pets. The dogs who know when their masters for coming home, and the sense of being stared at.

People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

I've got nine kids, nine dogs, three grandkids - and one in the oven. And three parrots!

Flatterers look like friends, as wolves like dogs.

In the fifties I had dreams about touching a naked woman and she would turn to bronze or the dream about hot dogs chasing donuts through the Lincoln Tunnel.

That they may have a little peace, even the best dogs are compelled to snarl occasionally.

Dogs are very, very pleasant with people that they're connected to.

I like to be at home because I just travel so much. I have four dogs, golden retrievers.

There are writers in Germany who drink the Absolute like water; and there are books in which even the dogs make references to the Infinite.

Feed the dogs. I hate to hear them barking like that.

It seems like all the good looking people have smaller dogs these days. Especially for the women, because they always come in with their little Chihuahuas and the guys come in with their Golden Retrievers.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way.

One of my dogs is in the movie Beethoven's 2nd.

Any man who does not like dogs and want them about does not deserve to be in the White House.

You will find that the woman who is really kind to dogs is always one who has failed to inspire sympathy in men.

If you call a cat, he may not come. Which doesn't happen with dogs. They're different types of animals. Cats are very sexy I think too in the way they move.

I started working at Hanna-Barbera in '92 on 2 Stupid Dogs.

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.

Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.

Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs.

Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat.