In the fifties I had dreams about touching a naked woman and she would turn to bronze or the dream about hot dogs chasing donuts through the Lincoln Tunnel.

I was a class clown.

In the fifties I had dreams about touching a naked woman and she would turn to bronze or the dream about hot dogs chasing donuts through the Lincoln Tunnel.

The Broad research center represents the highest quality model of what Proposition 71 should be funding.

My son has been a class clown and it sort of ran in the family.

But I think the other is a little more like bullfighting, a little more daring and although I appreciate good acting and I liked being versatile my whole career, it kept me working.

So it took me five years because in the interim I have been doing a lot of personal appearances and movies and some television series that went into the plumbing and I stopped writing for a while.

And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy.

But to do it professionally is a quantum leap difference and my father had to be persuaded by these kind of Ivy League professors that I should go to the Yale Drama School, another one of the stories in there.

Regis and I were inducted into the original Bronx Walk of Fame.

Comedy is still alive, and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the priesthood. That immigrant Jewish humor is still with us.

I did the first HBO special ever in 1975 at Haverford College. Cable was new then: HBO was a Time-Life entity, with maybe 400,000 or 500,000 subscribers and maybe 50 employees.

I guess I'm pleased and proud of the respect of my peers, and that when I disappear from the scene or from this earth, I will have left a mark. They'll say, 'He did it well.' I like being funny; it opens people up.

I have a work-out regime; I am not a maniac. It sounds cliche, but stand-up comedy, doing a one-man show, helps keep me young, and yes, it is exhausting, but I don't collapse.

I have what we call a 'symphony act.' I'm the only comedian, I think, in the country that does it.

I love live theater. I get my rocks off by doing stand-up, and I am the only actor. But to show up eight times a week and not have that time for myself; to do someone else's lines? When I work for Wendy Wasserstein or Terrence McNally, Neil Simon or even Shakespeare, I do not have the right to change the lines.

I was a class clown. My father was a class clown. My son has been a class clown, and it sort of ran in the family.

I was brought up at 3525 Decatur Avenue, in the north Bronx, right next to Woodlawn Cemetery.

I wrote my book 'The Amorous Busboy Of Decatur Avenue' completely like a writer does, writing it down, re-writing everything. But in my stand-up, I improvise initially, never questioning it too closely.

I'm not against profanity. It's an important part of the language when used properly.

My 1974 album 'Mind Over Matter' was a detailed thing about Watergate. I always had some righteous indignation.

One of my greatest inspirations for stand-up was Jonathan Winters. He was a genius. One thing about him, and also Lenny Bruce, is that they were in the tradition of the one-man show. That's why Richard Pryor was so great, and George Carlin, too. They prowled the stage, they used voices, they were really talents.

The '50s were terrifying with nuclear bomb stuff but boring in a social way, and then the '60s were happening, and remember, there was no AIDS.

There are certain families who absolutely incorporate their nanny as part of the family, and there are other people, and there are codes for this, when they call in, they say, 'I am really not looking for a friend.' It is clear they will not be members of the family.

There is a cliche that probably has some anecdotal evidence on the side that comedians are very depressed people, but that's because no one is ever going to seem as funny in a normal conversation as compared to when they're up there onstage in the spotlight making a huge audience keel over with laughter.

What makes a good nanny? A good nanny is someone who really wants to do the job. Someone who loves children, who really values what she does and, of course, is valued by her employer.

When I started, there was no comedy community, no comedy industry; there were comedians.

I like to take pictures of lots of things: people-such as my nephews, my dogs, and just interesting objects that I see. For instance, I might take a picture of flowers by the side of the road, an old sign or a fence.

I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don't spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.

I am elected by the people of Bucharest, not the dogs.

My feet are dogs.

The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.

Happens to everybody. Horses, dogs, men. Nobody gets out of life alive.

I'm looking more like my dogs every day - it must be the shaggy fringe and the ears.

Of the seven experiments, the ones that have been most investigated so far have been the pets. The dogs who know when their masters for coming home, and the sense of being stared at.

People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

I've got nine kids, nine dogs, three grandkids - and one in the oven. And three parrots!

Flatterers look like friends, as wolves like dogs.

In the fifties I had dreams about touching a naked woman and she would turn to bronze or the dream about hot dogs chasing donuts through the Lincoln Tunnel.

That they may have a little peace, even the best dogs are compelled to snarl occasionally.

Dogs are very, very pleasant with people that they're connected to.

I like to be at home because I just travel so much. I have four dogs, golden retrievers.

There are writers in Germany who drink the Absolute like water; and there are books in which even the dogs make references to the Infinite.

Feed the dogs. I hate to hear them barking like that.

It seems like all the good looking people have smaller dogs these days. Especially for the women, because they always come in with their little Chihuahuas and the guys come in with their Golden Retrievers.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way.

One of my dogs is in the movie Beethoven's 2nd.

Any man who does not like dogs and want them about does not deserve to be in the White House.