It's one of my favorite things to do, watch TV and stretch. I'm so flexible. I can put my legs behind my head. I want to be the most flexible person in the world.

Hypocrisy is great fodder for comedy.

I'm in fact a hair under six feet, but I'm very svelte. People would never see me if I turned sideways.

Honestly we never lied to people about who we were. Usually the wackier interviews came to pass because the interview subjects, aware that we were Comedy Central, just wanted to get their stories out.

I can't be everything to everyone. Send me your specs.

The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced that other people will think it is, well they won't.

Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously.

I am a kamikaze gadfly.

It's interesting, because I tend to trust a man with big ears.

It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.

No, no, no separate but equal... never the twain shall meet. And the pendulum kept swinging and it came to rest in the bastard hybrid known as the Daily Show.

If there's one thing that everyone can agree on, it's that, right or wrong, they hate the press.

It's one of my favorite things to do, watch TV and stretch. I'm so flexible. I can put my legs behind my head. I want to be the most flexible person in the world.

When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.

I bruise like a grape.

Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness.

Generally I get up at around 7. But oftentimes, I'll be lolling in bed a little bit earlier - sometimes as early as 5:45 - filing in my mind all the things I have to get done. Which is, of course, totally unproductive.

I have a Keurig coffee maker, which is really kind of a luxury. It was given to me by an ex. I realized when I'm feeling sentimental, I'll gently, tenderly press the button. Then when I remember he dumped me, I punch it.

I know a lot about a few things - mostly useless things.

I love the excess of Christmas. The shopping season that begins in September, the bad pop star recordings of Christmas carols, the decorations that don't know when to come down.

I still don't know how to cook and that's just unacceptable.

I was way too hyperactive to study for long. I would freak out, then crash, then be too tired to read or write. I really should have had less sugar.

I wish I had played team sports. I think every kid should. Teamwork builds character - teaches people about leadership and cooperation.

I'd rather call myself a mischief-maker, an imp, rather than a satirist. Satirist sounds so self important. Plus no one is calling himself an imp right now. It makes me feel special.

I'm always working on a few different stories at once, so there's always some really big coffee table book I'm carrying around.

If I had a time machine I would go back 30 years and show up at my grandmother's apartment before the gargantuan meals she would serve and I would help her.

My sophomore year I spent exactly one day on the JV football team. It was the tryout day.

My favorite singer to this day is Nat King Cole. I've tried to emulate his phrasing. It is so absolutely beautiful to listen to his lovely voice.

My romantically favorite era is 78, 79 listening to Grandmaster Flash and the Furious 4, the live tapes, echo chamber and break beats.

My favorite actor is Wallace Beery.

If I'm out trailriding, I have a favorite motorcycle. Riding on the road, I've got a favorite. If I'm jumping, I have a favorite, and if I'm racing, I have a favorite.

My favorite animal is steak.

Robert Altman's Nashville is my all-time favorite film because it covers all the bases - it's original, moving, and has something to say, but also funny and incredibly entertaining.

I felt like I was making a record under the radar, and that is my favorite way to do anything.

My favorite thing is still journalism. I'm almost 50. This has been my life ever since I was in college.

My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens.

I'm very lucky to work in so many different arenas of the entertainment industry and I do enjoy them all, but making music - original music - in the studio or live onstage is definitely my favorite thing to do.

Alison Krauss is definitely my favorite singer that's ever lived. I've never heard anyone like her.

My favorite type of music to sing and to listen to, you know, rock. It's not always metal, but you know, half the time it is. Metal's cool, you know? Not everybody on 'American Idol' listens to metal.

It's the sense of what family is at the dinner table. It was the joy of knowing mother was in the kitchen making our favorite dish. I wish more people would do this and recall the joy of life.

Life: my favorite occupation.

My favorite actors when I was a kid were in their '60s. Spencer Tracy, Humphrey Bogart, John Wayne.

My favorite characters are the ones that are the most successful movies.

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

I have always loved science fiction. One of my favorite shows is 'Star Trek.' I like the trips, where it drops my mind off, because they give you a premise and all of a sudden, you say, 'Oh!' and I'm fascinated by it.

I always say that my favorite game was Original Adventure, published by both Microsoft and Apple Computer back in 1980.

Song Sung Blue took a lot of compressing and refining, and it has one of my favorite lyrics.

My favorite Oscar story was a year my brother had been nominated, my whole family went.

He was my favorite senator... I love him. He made the liberals squeal.