I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!

Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.

I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.

Since September 11, security has been increased everywhere, and we have new IDs to get on to the Fox lot. I drove to the security gate, but realized I'd left my ID in my other car. I just broke into that voice - 'Hey, man, I'm Bart Simpson. Who else sounds like this?' The guard waved me through.

The fundamental laws of physics do not describe true facts about reality. Rendered as descriptions of facts, they are false; amended to be true, they lose their explanatory force.

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.

I will not get very far with this attitude.

The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan.

I don't use the voice of Bart when I'm making love to my husband, but Marge's voice turns him on a little.

The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far.

Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does.

I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!

Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal.

Adding 'just kidding' doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal.

Grammar is not a time of waste.

Life is a paradox, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't

Being a girl doesnt make you weak Parker. It makes you special.

I watch mediocre shows that have been on for three or four seasons, and feel angry at them.

If Jesus were here today, he wouldn't be riding around on a donkey. He'd be taking a plane, he'd be using the media.

I think the problem with the arts in America is how unimportant it seems to be in our educational system.

I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.

I should contribute generously to the war chest of the Woman's Christian Temperance Union. But, I do not contribute at all.

When antibiotics first came out, nobody could have imagined we'd have the resistance problem we face today. We didn't give bacteria credit for being able to change and adapt so fast.

No matter what your political persuasion, you can find a guide that makes it quick, easy and painless to exercise your right to vote. Wanna know what a certain proposition put forth by a cadre of undisclosed billionaires which cuts funding for public education, arts and infrastructure means? Use the voting guide!

It's easy to have a good season but if you want to have a great season you have got to win a major tournament.

When it's the same team that's created magic at the box office in the past, you know you are in safe hands.

The trend in China is toward tighter and tighter control. They are basically improving their censorship mechanisms.

I've listened to music all my life. I've always felt that music tells more stories sometimes than films, with more possibilities. Every time you listen to them, songs bring different images and moods - depending on where you are in your life, you can listen to a song, and it means something different.

I can understand wanting to have millions of dollars; there's a certain freedom, meaningful freedom, that comes with that.

Gnostic teachings speak of the reality and power of evil and its fundamental presence throughout manifest existence. They declare that while we may not be able to rid the world or ourselves of evil we may and indeed will rise above it through gnosis.

To say that we should engage in some hypothetical about, 'Will I vote for Trump,' that's defeatist. I'm not going to be a defeatist.

People say my music is English. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's not me writing English music, but that English music is becoming more like me.

'Inspiration' is a word used by people who aren't really doing anything.

I used to follow trends and try to do exactly what I saw in the magazines, but I'm not a Victoria's Secret model who can wear anything.

I'm a slow reader.

You don't get hits if you're depressed.

You want the audience to be uncomfortable.

I cant but say it is an awkward sight to see ones native land receding through the growing waters it unmans one quite especially when life is rather new.

The United States is a strong and ardent ally of Israel. The fact of the matter is that friends can disagree. I think what's important is that world leaders are able to sit down with one another, have frank conversations and move forward.

I need to eat a lot; otherwise, I feel faint. I get in the worst moods if I don't eat.