Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.

I love being famous. It validates that I have something to say.

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

I didn't ever feel close to my real family. I didn't feel validated; I never felt right because I was always wrong.

I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing.

I read somewhere that when I go on stage, people realize that they're not me and they feel better. When I walk off the stage, people know who I really am. I'm not saying it's great comedy, cool comedy or better comedy - but that's what I do, and I do it first for myself.

I'm psyched-up when I do radio. I can reach hundreds of thousands of people in a market. And way psyched-up when I'm on television. For people not to take it seriously is foolish.

If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you'd better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that you'll get anywhere. The hardest thing is dealing with business people who have nothing to do with your art. They could care less that you're up at 4:30 in the morning writing a joke. Don't expect any sympathy from anybody.

My act is always a work in progress. I pray I have a bad day before a show.

My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it's how Richard Lewis feels about it. I'm a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.

My performance level has risen - and my anxiety-level has sky-rocketed.

My wife's hip, beautiful and independent and never jealous.

There's a thin line between narcissism, even if it's a healthy narcissism, and entertainment.

When I started out, I struggled, and I was broke a lot. But I'm glad I struggled, and I'm glad I was broke a lot.

When I was younger, I listened to the greats: Winters, Mel and Carl, Nichols and May, Pryor, Carlin, Klein, Berman and lots of Lenny Bruce albums. But once I started doing fairly well, I didn't want to hear anybody's jokes or premises.

Theres a thin line between narcissism even if its a healthy narcissism and entertainment.

My grandmother was a Jewish juggler she used to worry about six things at once

I've seen and learned enough to keep my music fresh and spread out.

Everything has to do with meditation. It's a conversation; it's a joy - it's everything.

Easily mistaken, it is not about a love for adversity, it is about knowing a strength and a faith so great that adversity, in all its adverse manifestations, hardly even exists.

Let's raise our glass to make a toast to chime in the New Year, Dedicating warm regards to friends and family we hold dear. Good vibes will rain in lit up the skies with blasts of starry glow. With open arms let's offer the year a welcoming hello!

He is free knows how to keep in his own hands the power to decide.

If you learn to make harmony with your past then there is no mountain you cant conquer in life.

The day I got my first letter from a fan, I felt like I'd been touched by an angel.

See, to me, rock'n'roll doesn't have any point. It's just fun. It has a million different angles and they're all valid. But I think rock might be a world issue.

I still don't know whether I know how to write a sentence.

I wont promise to be always here for you but I assure you that Christ will always be here for you. But Ill always be holding your hand in mine.

I used to think you should keep on experimenting and seeing new things. But after seeing a lot of the world, I now tend to return to the same spots. I enjoy the familiarity.

To me, the sea is like a person - like a child that I've known a long time. It sounds crazy, I know, but when I swim in the sea, I talk to it. I never feel alone when I'm out there.

There are, of course, always painters whom I admire and find fascinating. I've often thought, 'Goodness, if I could paint like the Danish Golden Age painters, the early 19th century painters, the way they could paint a landscape - absolutely beautiful.'

I'm making 20 times more with Vessel for doing the same amount of work, if not less, than with YouTube.

A slender acquaintance with the world must convince every man that actions, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment of friends.

The rocket worked perfectly except for landing on the wrong planet.

Generally speaking, we as black people have been celebrated more for when we are subservient when we are not being leaders or kings or in the center of our own narrative driving it forward.

If an alien visited Earth, they would take some note of humans, but probably spend most of their time trying to understand the dominant form of life on our planet - microorganisms like bacteria and viruses.

Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.

I think there's a green side to John Kerry, if you like, that he's an environmental activist. His record on the environment is as best as you have on a pro-environment record of anybody in the U.S. Senate.

I am not responsible for the actions of Saakashvili and even for those of Gamsakhurdia.

There is no prejudice so strong as that which arises from a fancied exemption from all prejudice.

Many of the things we do at Basecamp would be considered unusual at most companies: paying for employees' hobbies, allowing our team to work from anywhere, even footing the bill for fresh fruits and veggies in our staff members' homes.

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.