I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.

I love being famous. It validates that I have something to say.

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

I didn't ever feel close to my real family. I didn't feel validated; I never felt right because I was always wrong.

I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing.

I read somewhere that when I go on stage, people realize that they're not me and they feel better. When I walk off the stage, people know who I really am. I'm not saying it's great comedy, cool comedy or better comedy - but that's what I do, and I do it first for myself.

I'm psyched-up when I do radio. I can reach hundreds of thousands of people in a market. And way psyched-up when I'm on television. For people not to take it seriously is foolish.

If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you'd better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that you'll get anywhere. The hardest thing is dealing with business people who have nothing to do with your art. They could care less that you're up at 4:30 in the morning writing a joke. Don't expect any sympathy from anybody.

My act is always a work in progress. I pray I have a bad day before a show.

My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it's how Richard Lewis feels about it. I'm a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.

My performance level has risen - and my anxiety-level has sky-rocketed.

My wife's hip, beautiful and independent and never jealous.

There's a thin line between narcissism, even if it's a healthy narcissism, and entertainment.

When I started out, I struggled, and I was broke a lot. But I'm glad I struggled, and I'm glad I was broke a lot.

When I was younger, I listened to the greats: Winters, Mel and Carl, Nichols and May, Pryor, Carlin, Klein, Berman and lots of Lenny Bruce albums. But once I started doing fairly well, I didn't want to hear anybody's jokes or premises.

Theres a thin line between narcissism even if its a healthy narcissism and entertainment.

My grandmother was a Jewish juggler she used to worry about six things at once

I want the municipality to be a helping hand to the man with a desire of sympathy, to help the fallen when it is not in their power to help themselves.

Corporate partners help UNICEF fund our programmes for children, advocate with us on their behalf, or facilitate our work through logistical, technical, research or supply support.

Before and during the first phase of the war his administration repeatedly maligned the UN but now, that Iraq has turned into a quagmire, it is asking the UN for help.

Sitting at home the way I do, I'd just love the hear from people. It'd be a great help in passing the time.

Humor can help you cope with the unbearable so that you can stay on the bright side of things until the bright side actually comes along.

It was an idea we had when Al was in the Senate - to organize and moderate an annual conference that would look at government policy through the lens of the family to help identify ways that the family can be supported and strengthened.

The government must do all it can to help reduce interest rates for business.

For me, romance isn't an over-the-top act. It's someone offering to help and to support me. Or if that person thinks I'm making the wrong decision, he'll tell me. I want him to be honest, because being that honest takes a lot of guts.

I've always thought that if Israel really wanted to solve the problem, they'd just start tomorrow and push right to the Jordan River, and anything in their way goes. They don't need America or someone else to help.

So many people always try to help me carry my luggage and help me do things I can do myself. If I can do it myself, I'm going to do it myself. I'm not going to let other people do it for me, and I think that's a big part of where I came from. I'm not a real prissy girl.

Doorman - a genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

We would certainly welcome the recipient nation to put their inspectors on our shores, if they wanted to make that investment to help protect that shipment that is outgoing.

Stop relying only on technology.Technology can help the qualified, well-trained human being but cannot replace him.

The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world; I am like a snowball - the further I am rolled the more I gain.

Several million people inside and outside Afghanistan are destitute and desperately in need of help.

I've spent my career trying to help people without connections understand what's going on so that they have a chance of getting a fair shake from the connected and the powerful.

There may or may not be a God or gods; the Siblings do not concern themselves with proving or disproving such a thing. By definition, gods are more powerful than men, and thus quite able to fend for themselves without help.

They look at what's more important, like subjects to help with the SAT's, etc. They miss that music is vital. It offers a break from a stressful day of science and math and it's different.

Fundamentalism as it is called is not confined to the Muslim world. It is something that we have seen in different parts of the world. Let us hope that a dialogue between the followers of the three great monotheistic religions could help in putting an end to this.

We have a group of friends of the museum who try to raise, if they can, periodically something to help us. Of course, the main thing about a building like this is its upkeep. It needs central heating and it needs central air conditioning.

I want to say to you, Help yourself, so you can help someone else.

Often we can help each other most by leaving each other alone; at other times we need the hand-grasp and the word of cheer.

Don't just stand there, idiot. Call a doctor, and then help me find a nose.

Success, for me, is being able to provide information that will help to change someone's life positively.

This week I was proud to join with my colleagues to help pass two important, common-sense pieces of legislation that will limit the frivolous lawsuits by trial attorneys and personal injury lawyers that clog our courts and hurt our small businesses.

An organization's reason for being, like that of any organism, is to help the parts that are in relationship to each other, to be able to deal with change in the environment.

Whenever we have thanked these men and women for what they have done for us, without exception they have expressed gratitude for having the chance to help - because they grew as they served.

Jazz needs the help. It's the more sophisticated music. All the other music is on the TV, but jazz isn't.

Every day I work at not taking this fame thing seriously. Fortunately I have a great group of friends who help me do this.