Ricky Gervais

I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.

Why by a book when you can join a library.

There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything.

If I do eat meat, it's got to be ethical. I want to know that it lived a great life before it was killed humanely.

Body language is more powerful than words.

Wearing cosmetics that were tested on animals makes you ugly on the inside

The grass isn't always greener on the other side!

A world without any lies at all is not a good world, because it's artless and because there are no white lies, no flattery.

Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It's all we've got.

Same sex marriage isn't gay privilege, it's equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don't.

You should make something. You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, 'I did that.'

Same sex marriage isnt gay privilege its equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches dont.

Where theres a will theres a relative.

Where there's a will - there's a relative!

Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you've got to want it.

Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks.

Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!

Being an atheist makes someone a clearer thinking, fairer person. They are not doing things to be rewarded in heaven; they're doing things because they're right, because they live by a moral code.

Real racist jokes or sexist jokes aren't funny - not because they're offensive, but because they're not true. As soon as a joke is based on an untruth, it's not funny.

Since there is absolutely no logical reason to assume there is an afterlife, I decided to make the life I have now as much fun as possible.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational.

Same sex marriage is not a gay privilege its equal rights.

You see reality TV and it's not reality TV. It's contrived and everything is plotted and scripted nearly. Documentaries are the same and just as bad.

Being on the edge isnt as safe but the view is better.

Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away.

Why buy a book when you can join a library.