The grass isn't always greener on the other side!

Why by a book when you can join a library.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side!

Where there's a will - there's a relative!

Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!

Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away.

Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you've got to want it.

I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything.

Why buy a book when you can join a library.

You should make something. You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, 'I did that.'

Being an atheist makes someone a clearer thinking, fairer person. They are not doing things to be rewarded in heaven; they're doing things because they're right, because they live by a moral code.

Body language is more powerful than words.

Wearing cosmetics that were tested on animals makes you ugly on the inside

Being on the edge isnt as safe but the view is better.

Same sex marriage isnt gay privilege its equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches dont.

Same sex marriage is not a gay privilege its equal rights.

Where theres a will theres a relative.

Real racist jokes or sexist jokes aren't funny - not because they're offensive, but because they're not true. As soon as a joke is based on an untruth, it's not funny.

Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It's all we've got.

Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks.

Since there is absolutely no logical reason to assume there is an afterlife, I decided to make the life I have now as much fun as possible.

Same sex marriage isn't gay privilege, it's equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don't.

If I do eat meat, it's got to be ethical. I want to know that it lived a great life before it was killed humanely.

Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational.

Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

You see reality TV and it's not reality TV. It's contrived and everything is plotted and scripted nearly. Documentaries are the same and just as bad.

A world without any lies at all is not a good world, because it's artless and because there are no white lies, no flattery.

I think people need to commit to one another before they commit to bringing children into the world because that's the optimum arrangement for children, not to take anything at all away from women who have to rear their children by themselves.

The best reason for having dreams is that in dreams no reasons are necessary.

Genuine dialogue not rhetorical bomb throwing leads to progress.

One of these days the people of Louisiana are going to get good government - and they aren't going to like it.

I always intended to move back to New York when I was first there.

I think growing up in skating, I was surrounded by the LGBT community, so I grew up very aware because I was around it so often, and some of the kindest people I know are gay figure skaters.

A conversation does not have to be scintillating in order to be memorable. I once met a president of the United States, and his second sentence to me was about knees.

Chekhov was capable of casually tossing off deplorable comments in his letters, combined with a very modern anger against anti-Semitism.

With United, we'd all grown up together, we all wanted to win the biggest trophy in football. We did it togther.

I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.

Even when I was a kid, I had a good thing with kids. To this day, if I go to a birthday party with one of my kids, I swear to you, I am so much happier hanging out with my kids and their friends than talking to the grown-ups.

I wanted to be a veterinarian, but slipped up when I hit organic chemistry.

Look in the mirror. That’s your competition.

Sometimes when I find myself very irritated about a topic, I know it's my next book.

In the deregulated realm of US banking and finance, crime does occasionally pay for its foul deeds, not in prison time but by making modest rebates to the victims.

Some people who like dogs don't like cats, but I'm not like that.

To insult a friend implies that you respect his masculinity enough to know he can take it without acting like a crybaby. The swapping of insults, like the fighting between brothers, becomes the seal of the male bonding.

In March 2005, I was appointed to the board of the Santa Barbara metro transit district. I was incredibly optimistic about how public transportation can be the solution to help people live in the city and not need a car.

I actually met a cop who worked with street gangs. I wanted to understand what drives someone who deals with very hardened criminals on a daily basis. How do you turn that off when you go home at night?

Many now born, by the time they are voters will compose part of a nation with a genius nowhere equaled, and with a vast territory upon which those energies and that genius can operate.