My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they've read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!

No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.

I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it's a risk worth running.

Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I'd never used it. I'm 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.

The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.

Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.

If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.

People who get through life dependent on other people's possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

We've all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that's all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it's just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.

I'm easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.

My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they've read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!

And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.

Comedy will always be central to what I do, it's just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.

I don't consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.

I don't know what people who I've never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things - but I'm proud of the fact I've remained close to everyone I've ever worked with.

I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.

I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.

I loved writing 'Two Brothers' more than anything else I have written. It's the first book I've written that I've always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.

I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.

I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition - and I have never suffered from it.

I'm lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.

If I did things for the money, I'd have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and 'Police Academy 6,' which I was asked to write.

My parents were secular. I am an atheist.

There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I've made a great living doing the things I want to do.

You didn't wake up, your dreams just changed gear.

Women don't like advice. They don't want you to fix their problems, they just want you to listen.

I don't think a reporter should give advice or make predictions.

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.

Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.

No enemy is worse than bad advice.

I'm not in the business of becoming famous. And that's the advice I give to younger aspiring actors. Work onstage and do the little roles. In the end it's not important to be seen. It's important to do. There's a lot of disappointment in this business, but my family keeps me grounded.

Listen kid, take my advice, never hate a song that has sold half a million copies.

My advice to young film-makers is this: don't follow trends, start them!

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice.

All of our affairs, since the union of crowns, have been managed by the advice of English ministers, and the principal offices of the kingdom filled with such men, as the court of England knew would be subservient to their designs.

To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn't know what to do or that he can't do it on his own.

But I try not to become preoccupied with that because with whatever direction I follow, with whatever advice I've followed or not followed, It's landed me in New York, in a very beautiful hotel, talking to people about something that I love. So I ain't that far off.

If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is really advice to myself, a reminder to myself not to avoid change or uncertainty, but to go with it, to surf into change.

I never take advice from anyone more messed up than I am.

What advice do I tell my grandson? I listen to him.

It is not unprofessional to give free legal advice, but advertising that the first visit will be free is a bit like a fox telling chickens he will not bite them until they cross the threshold of the hen house.

This character in the film, these things that he says which sound like advice and wise things, they are very common for Orientals. It's all the tradition.

Never give advice in a crowd.

Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it.

When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

I counseled many returning missionaries. I interviewed 1,700 missionaries all over the world. My advice to them is that you should study and prepare for your life's work in a field that you enjoy.

His advice to me is basically to just love what you do and don't let the fear of failure stop you.

Advice is seldom welcome, and those who need it the most, like it the least.