Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.

Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.

Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.

Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.

He's as cool as a prized marrow!

The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!

He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.

Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a water-buffalo with a pea-shooter.

The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.

It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline.

There's only one word for that - magic darts!

When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is only 27.

That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.

There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions.

That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!

He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed.

As a kid, I was school swot, but I used to hang around the billiard halls, learning that Geordie sense of humour, mixing with low-lifes. They were the sort who'd pick your pocket and then say 'Here you are lad, here's tuppence, get yourself some chips'. I was a good rugby player, a good runner, so I fitted in at Cambridge quite easily.

At various points, I've had a massive chip on me shoulder. I had fights about me accent with loads of those fellers you get from third-class public schools. They used to think I was speaking German.

Golden rule of life: never underestimate your rivals.

I talk fast because I'm asthmatic, and I'm desperately hoping the words get out before my breath fails.

I want the little lassies who are thinking of going to a nightclub in Cardiff to stop to see what that guy's screaming for, or Grandma to put her knitting down to see why that guy's chatting about Alexander the Great. I'm after pulling in, whether it's in Manila, Beijing or whatever, the biggest possible audience.

I'm a postmodern commentator, and so, in a cheeky parallel to James Joyce or James Kelman, I get to places, verbally, that are a little unusual - when I talk about Jocky Wilson and end up sounding like a Jackson Pollock of the commentary box.

I'm never quite as excited as people think because with my voice, when I shout, I squeak.

I'm the world's worst after-dinner speaker. I need pictures to respond to. I was the voice of the lottery balls once and got the sack.

It's a form of mental and verbal gymnastics, and one of the things that appeals to me most about commenting on darts is that no one knows exactly what I'm going to come out with next - and neither do I.

The thing about darts is that you've got to shout. It's not like cricket where you can talk to Michael Atherton and ask him to analyse the bloody nuances. Darts does not have nuances. You've got to hurl yourself at it.

The thing with darts players is they have always appeared available. They don't have to live like monks. I've only ever met one dry player in 35 years.

You can get the dart player out of the pub, but you can't get the pub out of the dart player.

Well as giraffes say you dont get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.

Golden rule of life never underestimate your rivals.

One person is never as stupid as a group of people. That's why they have lynch mobs, not lynch individuals.

I think Ellenor is embarrassed and ashamed and has devoted all of her energy to the law and to helping other people get justice because it's too difficult for her to face her own struggle for justice.

The first prerogative of an artist in any medium is to make a fool of himself.

If you see something is going wrong within politics and the world today, then some Hip Hop artist is gonna come along and get straight with it. If they think that there's a lot of racism going on then there's another Hip Hop artist who's gonna come out and speak their mind.

I love so many different genres. I love crime films - and unusual coming-of-age pieces.

I gradually work myself into a frenzy as the shoot approaches, while we're choosing the costumes or working with the make-up artist. I'm not so much interested in my character as the film itself.

Folks, this government isn't too big to fail, it's too big to succeed.

If anyone tells you it's impossible to be fabulous and smart and make a ton of money using math, well, they can just get in line behind you - and kiss your math.

We have indeed been fortunate in this country. Over the last 200 some odd years since our Nation was founded, rarely have there been attacks upon our homeland.

I resolved to start journaling every day, and so far I've been journaling every day, and it's been great.

Money is a strange business. People who havent got it aim it strongly. People who have are full of troubles.

I believe I am more intelligent than the average person.

I'd like to come back because I really miss doing situation comedy.

In the past 3-4 years I've developed a habit of keeping numerous small cassette recorders in my house and in a bag with me so that I'm able to commit to tape memory song ideas on a constant basis.

If dirt were trumps what hands you would hold

The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.

You always admire what you really don't understand.

You could double the number of synaptic connections in a very simple neurocircuit as a result of experience and learning. The reason for that was that long-term memory alters the expression of genes in nerve cells, which is the cause of the growth of new synaptic connections.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.