He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.

A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.

Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.

What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy.

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born.

The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.

A half truth like half a brick is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Humour is essentially a comforter reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be.

With the Great Detective to think was to act and to act was to think. Frequently he could do both together.

We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.

The tears of childhood fall fast and easily, and evil be to him who makes them flow.

To me, New Order split up when Bernard and I stopped writing together. We started Joy Division together; we started New Order together.

Comedy is the most difficult thing to do. Easily the most difficult.

Everybody has to put purees underneath everything now. It's like people think we need the steak, and then we need some baby food with it.

I am used to wrangling crocodiles.

One of my most vivid memories from 1974 was the gas station at the foot of the hill below my Southern California high school - car lines snaking out into the street, heralding the failure of the government's price controls and lame ideas such as odd-even rationing.

The price of a commodity will never go to zero. When you invest in commodities futures, you're not buying a piece of paper that says you own an intangible piece of company that can go bankrupt.

You know how you get close to something you want and then you start doing things to ensure that you don't quite get it? I did a lot of that.

When I cook for my family on Christmas, I make feijoada, a South American dish of roasted and smoked meats like ham, pork, beef, lamb, and bacon - all served with black beans and rice. It's festive but different.

For every three scripts that you get through, one will be made, and that doesn't even necessarily mean that they're going to cast you in it.

I have met with some of them - very honest fellows, who, with all their stupidity, had a kind of intelligence and an upright good sense, which cannot be the characteristics of fools.

An old African leader says about leadership, he says that leadership should never be shared; it should always remain in the hands of the dispossessed people. We will lead the revolution.

I, myself, I am not interested in reality television; just me, myself, speaking.

At least in my performances, the audience has become so diverse in a way that I don't think ballet has ever experienced.