The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.

A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.

Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.

What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy.

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born.

The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.

A half truth like half a brick is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Humour is essentially a comforter reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be.

With the Great Detective to think was to act and to act was to think. Frequently he could do both together.

We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.

The tears of childhood fall fast and easily, and evil be to him who makes them flow.

I'm one of the top 2 or 3 or 4 most conservative members in the House of Representatives when it comes to economics.

When I was in elementary school, I was very interested in science already. I must have been ten or eleven years old. I started experiments with chemistry sets at my home in Mexico. I was able to borrow a bathroom and convert it to a laboratory. My parents supported it. They were pleased. My friends just tolerated it.

I'm just so against kids being on Twitter because they are not thinking about the ramifications of what they are saying or the emotion of how they say it.

Introspection and preserved writings give us far more insight into the ways of past humans than we have into the ways of past dinosaurs. For that reason, I'm optimistic that we can eventually arrive at convincing explanations for these broadest patterns of human history.

The fact that people didn't know I was British did work for quite a while.

When I started at Pratt, Spike Lee had his 40 Acres and A Mule studios down the street. You'd see Rosie Perez walking around going to Mike's Coffee Shop. So it was this black bohemian.

Obedience is a part of greatness.

For the blue-collar worker, the driving force behind change was factory automation using programmable machine tools. For the office worker, it's office automation using computer technology: enterprise-resource-planning systems, groupware, intranets, extranets, expert systems, the Web, and e-commerce.

We must restrict the anonymity behind which people hide to commit crimes. As citizens, we have a right to privacy. We have no such right to anonymity.

When we first started 'The Big Bang Theory,' I would get incredibly nervous because it's such a big show and I was just out of graduate school. I'd come in and have this huge responsibility for the one line that everyone hopes will bring down the house.

Developing countries like Malaysia should have a say in changing the world financial system since we have faced the problems that it has caused.

I grew up playing hockey and baseball, so I wish I had time to get back into it, but living in L.A. and North Carolina, you have to take advantage of the golf.

The earth has received the embrace of the sun and we shall see the results of that love.